His pets come before me...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 26-year old woman and have been struggling to maintain my relationship with my boyfriend who is the same age as me, because he has too many pets. I know this sounds ridiculous, but his love for animals is so overwhelming that everything else takes second place. If one of his many dogs or cats is ill, he cancels dates and expects me to understand. If I complain, he says I am insensitive and asks me to try being more humane. I love animals, too, but I can't always let him walk over me just because he thinks his pets need more attention. I can't even argue about this because I end up looking like a villain. What can I do?
You have to first examine whether this relationship is working for you and meeting your expectations. There's nothing wrong with anyone loving animals, obviously, but you're within your rights to feel disrespected if your partner's priorities aren't aligned with your own. It's also not a good sign if you feel as if you can't have a healthy argument about this, because invalidating how you feel is a form of gaslighting. Your partner needs to know where things stand, and why you are reconsidering the future of this relationship. If he doesn't make an effort to find a solution that works, this will only get worse.

My boyfriend recently got a massive promotion that has doubled his income and changed our dynamics entirely. Earlier, we both earned pretty much the same but now, it feels as if he has a sense of superiority that affects our relationship. Is this a sign that I should be wary of committing to this?
Change is constant, but it sometimes takes people time to adjust. You should be able to call out his behaviour because that will help him understand if something he is doing isn't right. If his behaviour continues, it will just teach you who he really is.

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