Her spending is a serious problem...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I have been married for six months and am beginning to have serious problems with the way my wife spends money. I had no idea she was so extravagant and uncaring about budgets or financial issues, and it has led to serious arguments between us. We dated for a year, and I didn't see this side of her because we used to split bills and I always thought she was sensible about these things, so this has come as a shock. I don't know how to resolve it because whenever I bring it up, she gets upset and doesn't speak to me for days. How do I stop this from becoming worse as time goes by? It is causing a lot of harm to our marriage, and she doesn't even want to acknowledge it.

Also Read: What if I am the problem?

Financial issues can tear any relationship apart because they are crucial to your individual well-being. It's possible that she doesn't look at this marriage as a unit that involves two people working towards the same goal. Not acknowledging a problem is unacceptable because it will lead to things getting worse. If she isn't willing to talk about money, I suggest you talk about your marriage instead, and get a better idea of how she sees the two of you. If she understands that her spending may lead to problems in other areas of the household, she may be more amenable to a conversation. It may also make sense for you both to speak to a counsellor about your expectations because there is obviously a mismatch here and the sooner you correct it, the smoother your marriage will be going forward. You have the rest of your lives to arrive at an arrangement that works, provided you both accept that this can be a serious problem that needs to be nipped in the bud. If she isn't willing to have this conversation with you, speak to a family member she trusts. It's difficult, but not something that cannot be resolved with a bit of work.

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