He wants to get married, I don’t...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 27-year old woman and have been in a relationship with a 30-year old guy. We have been together for three years and I am pretty sure he wants to propose to me within the next few months. There have been a lot of hints and I think he is planning something which I think is flattering but also very worrying for me. It's not as if I don't love him or haven't considered marrying him. We are genuinely happy together and I think I will have no problem committing to this if I wait for a few more years. The problem is those few years, because he is ready to settle down and I am in no mood to let go of my freedom and commit to being a wife just yet. He has had more time to enjoy his life without the pressure of being in a marriage, and I want that time to myself, too. I want to give him this message without making him feel as if I am rejecting him, but he is overly sensitive, and I worry that this may cause him to move away and distance himself from me. I don't know what to do.
It doesn't sound as if you have the option of staying silent here, irrespective of how you believe he may behave. If this isn't something you want, and you have a clear idea of when you want to settle down, why would you avoid this conversation? If you can't be honest with someone you believe you may marry someday, how will this relationship evolve after marriage? You are entitled to deciding the course of your life, and he needs to understand that. If he doesn't, this isn't an equal partnership, and it doesn't bode well for your future together. Marriage is a serious and life-altering decision and shouldn't be taken lightly. If he can't handle your decision and distances himself, it is a sign of immaturity and a red flag you should worry about.

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