He says I am not pretty enough!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 26-year-old woman and had my first relationship just a year ago. It was a long-distance one, and everything was fine between me and my boyfriend. He even told me he wanted to marry me. Although I wasn't ready at the start, given that I am much younger than he is, I eventually agreed. A month ago, he suddenly started to behave as if he was losing interest in talking to me. Ten days ago, I asked him if everything was okay, without any arguments or accusations. He told me he needed space. Yesterday, he told me over a text message, that he was calling off the marriage and breaking up. One of the reasons he cited was that I wasn't pretty enough for him and that he would have treated me better had I been prettier. What must have gone wrong? Is this exactly what it seems or is there more to it?
- MR
It doesn't matter whether there is anything more to it or not, because the only thing his text message ought to prove is that you dodged a bullet by not marrying this person. Relationships end for all kinds of reasons, and it may be naïve to assume that some of those reasons aren't shallow. It is inexcusable for someone to end anything by text message though, and not have the courtesy of explaining why such a potentially life-altering decision has been made. You can choose to worry about whether you really aren't pretty enough or put that nonsensical comment aside and congratulate yourself on escaping from someone who clearly isn't mature enough to handle a relationship. Given that this is your first, grief is inevitable, as is a possible shock to your self-confidence. Take your time to get over what has happened and remind yourself that you are worth being with someone who values you, loves and respects you for who you are. This person does nothing to tick those boxes and is better off in your past.

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