He just doesn’t want to commit

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 31-year old woman and have been dating a guy for six years now. We have been friends for a long time, and it developed into a relationship over time after we graduated from the same college. I have always felt that this is my partner for life, but I sometimes wonder if he feels the same way. Whenever I talk about where this relationship is going, he has no clear answer to give. I have asked him directly if he wants to marry me and he says there is no rush. He doesn't understand that things are awkward for me at home because my family knows about us and has always assumed we are going to marry. He doesn't want to commit, and I think he gets away with it only because I allow it to happen. I am so frustrated that I want to end this, but I worry about how everyone will react if I do. What will I tell my family and friends if this happens? I am tired but can't see a way out and he is complacent and okay with the situation. What do I do?

You have to draw a line that works for you, and your partner's inability or refusal to commit is reason enough for you to end this relationship if it isn't working. To put your life on hold just because you're worried about family and friends isn't fair to you at all. At the end of the day, you deserve to be with someone who values you and treats you the way you expect to be treated. Your family members presumably want the best for you too and should have no problem accepting your reason because it is a perfectly valid one. Tell your partner why you can't wait for much longer and give him an opportunity to commit to a deadline that makes sense for you. If he still refuses to commit, this is not a person who has your best interests at heart.

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