He is such a closed book!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My partner is a great person but quite horrible at communication. He can't or doesn't ever tell me what he is really feeling, and I constantly have to do the work to try and figure out what's on his mind. If we agree to go out, and he doesn't want to do something, he never says it and only ends up being in a bad mood. It is exhausting for me because I have to constantly worry that I am forcing him to do something he doesn't want to. I have tried to change this for a long time, but nothing works. He recently asked me to marry him and the only reason I didn't accept immediately is because I was worried about my future with him. I can't spend my life with someone who doesn't want to be clear about his feelings. Is this reason enough for me to end what is otherwise a stable relationship?
Communication is one of the strongest pillars upon with any healthy relationship is built, so you're right to take it seriously. If your partner can't or won't talk about what he wants, or expects from you, this heavy lifting you're currently doing will eventually or inevitably lead to resentment. As for ending the relationship, that really depends upon how much you are willing to give up, and whether or not he is willing to make serious changes. If he hasn't been able to yet, and doesn't grasp how important this is to you, you should give yourself a deadline and move on if you see no hope of things improving between you two.

Can a person's stinginess damage a relationship? My boyfriend always expects me to pay for things unless I insist, and I don't want to be small-minded, but it bothers me.
If it bothers you, talk about it and insist on change, because financial issues have the potential to cause serious harm to any relationship. Stinginess may be his condition, but it also makes him take you for granted.

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