He is so secretive about his money

08 August,2023 07:37 AM IST |  Mumbai  |  Dr Love

I want this relationship to be transparent, and don’t know how that can happen if he can’t share this with me. What should I do?

Illustration/Uday Mohite


My husband seems to have some serious issues with money, and it is bothering me a lot because he doesn't share this information with me. We have been married for over five years and don't have any real issues, except for the secrecy with which he treats his bank accounts. He told me early on that he likes to keep that aspect of his life separate, and I assumed this was just because he didn't want to burden me with business-related issues, until I found out that he has been taking loans from financial institutions. I saw multiple letters from a few banks asking about repayment and can't bring this up with him because he will not like it. I want this relationship to be transparent, and don't know how that can happen if he can't share this with me. What should I do?
Trying to maintain boundaries is always good in any relationship, until those boundaries cause other issues. If his arrangements are affecting you in any way, mentally or in terms of the trust between you two, I suggest you have that conversation with him even if he won't like it. There is nothing wrong with wanting to know about your husband's money, even if you both have a right to not share details about your individual financial situation. At the very least, he should be able to offer an explanation that helps you ease your mind. Not addressing this could affect your marriage.

Why does my girlfriend not chat on the phone or respond to messages? She says she hates it, and prefers meeting face to face, but it is also frustrating because I can't get her to communicate when we aren't on a date. Is this normal?
If she hates using a device, that is her prerogative, but if this affects communication between you to an extent that it is harming your relationship, you need to call it out. There can always be a compromise.

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