He is not divorced yet...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Is it okay to get into a relationship with someone who has separated from their partner but isn't divorced yet? I am in love with a man who is still married and doesn't know when his official divorce will come through. I don't want to wait until that happens because he says it's not an amicable separation and may take a year or more. My friends say I am being foolish and taking a big risk, but I believe that time is important and staying away from him for a year or more is not something I can accept without causing myself and him a lot of pain. I don't doubt his love for me, nor do I believe he will leave me because he has asked me to marry him when he is allowed to. Should I tell him to wait until that is possible even if this hurts me?
This depends upon the nature of your relationship and how you both feel about waiting. As adults, you are within your rights to make any decision that is legal, but being honest about where things stand will have to be critical if you choose to be with him until he is single. Yes, time matters, and waiting may be painful, but anything you do should be done with your eyes open. As long as you are both aware of how long this process will take, and what the implications are, nothing really stops you from being together.

My best friend doesn't speak to me much because her boyfriend has an issue with me. This hurts more because they just met three months ago and have been dating for less than two months. If she is this fickle, should I bother staying friends with her?
If you feel disrespected, you should certainly let her know this. However, it is also important to accept that old friends can sometimes make poor decisions. If she values your presence in her life, this situation may change. Until then, why not wait?

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com