He is always putting me down!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 26-year woman and have been dating a guy three years older for around five months. We are great together, but I sometimes get the sense that he is always putting me down when there are other people around. He is kind and respectful in private but gets dismissive of anything I say if someone else is with us. I have called him out on this a few times and he has always apologised. He tells me that he doesn't notice it when he does these things. He also says it's because I am younger, and he often assumes I don't know what I'm talking about. He accepts that this is wrong but can't help himself and wants me to be more forgiving. I am trying to see things from his perspective but don't know if this is something I should condone. Am I being difficult?
Asking someone to treat you with respect is not being difficult; it is being normal and expecting what should be the norm in any stable relationship. If he says he can't help himself, he isn't trying hard enough. Call him out as many times as you have the patience to, mention it when other people are around if conversations in private don't work, and give yourself a deadline by which to expect change. If he doesn't put in the work, he isn't serious about you or this relationship. Age is not an excuse for anyone to look down upon someone else, in or outside a relationship.

My boyfriend has some female friends who are prettier and more accomplished than I am. I always feel intimidated by them and am worried that he will leave me because I don't match up to them. How do I get over this fear? It is affecting how I interact with him as well as them.
Self-esteem is a serious issue that can cripple any relationship, but a strong, healthy bond built on trust and communication can go a long way towards resolving this fear.

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