He is always belittling me...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I come from a poor family and have been dating a guy who has always been well off. This didn't affect us when we began dating, because he said he loved me, and I knew he wasn't lying about his feelings. We have been together for two years now, and I sometime feel he says or does things that knowingly belittle me, only because he knows he has the power to do so. We have been talking about taking this relationship to the next level, but I am starting to hesitate because I can sense that this is turning into a power struggle where he wants more control. Should I call this off before it becomes ugly, or assume that things will become easier when we are engaged?
Nothing will change without the two of you putting in work, because issues aren't magically resolved without dialogue. Getting engaged should depend upon your feelings for each other, to begin with, but it should also be a place of equality where you feel as respected and loved as he does. If this isn't the case, and you believe financial imbalance is starting to affect how you treat each other, the sooner you call it out, the easier it will be for you both to fix this. If he loves you and wants to marry you, he needs to understand why you feel disrespected, and how your monetary situation has an impact on your relationship. It isn't an insurmountable problem, but you should make a decision about your future only when you have both confronted this and found a way of addressing it.

Should I tell my girlfriend that her mother is always nasty to me behind her back? She thinks her mother is a saint and I don't want to ruin that image of her.
Telling her how you feel based on her mother's behaviour doesn't invalidate her own feelings towards her parent. You should be allowed to feel the way you do and express it, no matter the cost.

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