He has been cheating on me...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 43-year old woman and have been married for almost seven years to a man who has been having an affair for a little over five years. He thinks I don't know about it, but I have had proof for a while. I haven't confronted him because I can't figure out what will happen to me if we end this marriage. My parents won't support me, and I have no financial means to go out on my own. I am also worried about being by myself because I have been with him for years, since we met in college. It feels as if I am always going to be dependent on him and the thought of living like this for the rest of my life is too much to bear. We have no children because I don't want to have a family with him, and this is something he accepts because he doesn't have any fondness for children. How do I get out of this rut? I don't know how much longer I can cope with the situation.
You think you are dependent upon your husband because you have bever allowed yourself to explore the world around you. If you are financial dependent today, it doesn't mean you will be a few months from now, provided you take steps towards that security. Speak to friends you can trust and get a sense of what your options are. This is adultery, and the law can offer you support if you speak to the right lawyer. It may seem as if you have no choice, but you are doing yourself a disservice by committing to someone who doesn't respect you. The sooner you evaluate the pros and cons of this, the easier it will be for you to come up with a plan that allows you to move out and start again. You're only 43. You have a long time to figure out what you can do next. It is only the first step that is the hardest.

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