He constantly makes fun of me...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My husband and I have been together for seven years. He has never respected me much because he thinks what I do for a living isn't important. He is a senior executive in a company and earns four times what I do, which makes him feel as if he has made the right choices in life while I have made poor ones. I disagree with this because I have made choices that make sense to me. What I earn doesn't define who I am or what I am worth, and it saddens me that he doesn't want to see my side of things. He belittles me whenever he gets a chance and has also insulted my profession in front of other people. When I confront him, he asks me not to take it seriously, but how can I not? This is disrespectful at every level. I used to think he would change as we lived together longer, but everything is just the way it used to be. He doesn't learn and I am starting to feel as if he will make fun of me for the rest of my life. I don't want to live with a person who doesn't respect me even though he claims to love me. What should I do?
You should tell him that his words and actions do not match. There is no place for disrespect in a marriage, and he needs to get that message. If you don't stand up for yourself in front of him, and in public, you are letting yourself down and allowing him to get away with behaviour for which there is no excuse. If he doesn't change, you're right about not being able to live with this for the rest of your life. I suggest you give him an ultimatum and tell him that you are considering what this marriage means to you. If that doesn't make him take it seriously and fix things, it's obvious that he doesn't value you as much as he claims to.

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