He blames me for us being childless

09 March,2022 07:00 AM IST |  Mumbai  |  Dr Love

What do you hope to accomplish by this? If she isn’t interested, why not respect her decision and accept that she is quite capable of making one

Illustration/Uday Mohite


My husband and I have been trying to have a child for three years now. We have been married for five years and didn't want to have a child too soon because I felt we needed to give ourselves more time. Since then, he has become increasingly frustrated by our inability to conceive and this has created a rift in our marriage that only gets worse with every month. We have spoken to doctors, tried all kinds of treatments, and we both know that this is beyond our control. A part of him still blames me though, as if things would have been different if we had to start trying a lot sooner. I know his resentment comes from helplessness and he doesn't mean it, but it is still very stressful for me, and I have begun considering marriage counselling for us both to try and resolve this. Will this make things worse?
Speaking to a professional can't hurt when the two of you are both aware that there are unresolved issues threatening the future of your relationship. Resentment and anger are common when you feel helpless, and your husband presumably wants this to be resolved as much as you do. Speak to a counsellor and understand that your future as parents hinges upon your ability to be good partners first. It is only by opening up and acknowledging that things are not okay, that one can start to fix them.

Should I try and convince a girl to go out with me even though I know she has no feelings for me? My friends tell me it's a bad idea, but I am not convinced.
What do you hope to accomplish by this? If she isn't interested, why not respect her decision and accept that she is quite capable of making one? Why force someone to go out with you when that doesn't do anything positive for either of you? This isn't a movie where her mind will change as if by magic. Listen to your friends.

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