He acts like I never existed!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My last relationship ended badly with a huge argument, and my ex-boyfriend blocked me everywhere soon after. We haven't been in touch for over six months, but I created alternative profiles on social media and have been checking out his updates for a while. I want to stop because I know this is not healthy behaviour, but I can't get over the fact that his posts show no signs of trauma or grief that I am not in his life. He is continuing to do what he has always done and acts as if nothing bad has happened even though we were together for almost three years. It feels as if I have just been erased from his life completely. What do I do to get over this? I don't want to feel as if I threw away three years of my life on someone who doesn't even care if I am alive or dead anymore.
The first thing to do is get off that social media stalking, because there is nothing positive about what you're doing. If he isn't interested in being part of your life, that's okay, and he's allowed to. To treat the updates he puts up as proof of what he's really thinking isn't a sensible thing to do because social media isn't a reflection of what any of us really are. They are calculated fronts, and it's impossible to assume what his state of mind is like based on what photographs or status updates he has. As for your comment about throwing away three years of your life, all relationships come with the possibility of not working out. You forget that those three years involved him too, and took something from him as well. To learn from something that hasn't worked is the only way forward. Allow yourself some time to grieve over the end of this, acknowledge that healing will not happen overnight, and know that what you're feeling will pass because that's how we are all programmed to live our lives.

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