Have I made the wrong choice?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I increasingly feel as if I have made a bad choice when it comes to choosing a partner. My boyfriend and I have been together for six months and things were great between us for five months, until we had a fight and he changed almost overnight. He has been nasty, angry, and badly behaved since then and I don't know what has happened to make him change so quickly and so drastically. I have tried to ask him this and, in moments when he feels like communicating, he says this is just who he is. He tells me that I should accommodate his behaviour and try to cope. I don't want to accept this as who he is, but it feels as if he doesn't want to give me a choice. What should I do?
You don't have to accept anything you don't want to, irrespective of what his reasons are. There is no excuse for bad behaviour in any respectful relationship, and that is all that matters. If he wants to be with you, this has to be about love and mutual respect, not about one person having to adjust to another's nastiness. I suggest you tell him this in no uncertain terms and give him an ultimatum. If that doesn't work, it's obvious he doesn't care about you as much as he may claim to. You deserve better.

My boyfriend is not an ideal choice, and I am aware of this. He is not very educated or well-spoken, and doesn't earn as much money as I do, but I love him and want my family and friends to understand and accept this. What can I do to get them to see this?
You can be direct about your feelings, explain what you like about him, and get them to spend more time with him so they can see that too. Ultimately, however, all that matters is how you feel about each other. If your relationship is strong, everyone who cares about you will come around.

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