Have feelings for two women...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I suddenly have strong feelings for a friend of mine. This would have been okay if I hadn't begun dating someone I met online a few months ago. I am technically in a relationship now, so these feelings for my friend are making me question whether I should continue being with this new girl. Part of me thinks it's unfair to not give it a chance, but I also worry about not acting upon my feelings and saying something to my friend. I am confused and this is affecting how I interact and speak with both of them. What should I do?
You should stop beating yourself up and give yourself time. Feelings are complicated and can take a long time for us to process, let alone understand. You have this friend as well as a girlfriend, and your relationship with each of them is different. Why not continue playing the roles you have chosen, until you get a better sense of what you feel, as well as what you expect from each of them? You have not taken into consideration what either of them may feel towards you, which is also important because who is to say your girlfriend may change how she feels about you when she gets to know you better? Take your time, respect each of them in their own way, and trust that you will understand your own emotions better when you are ready.

My parents are nice people, but they also have a streak of prejudice that makes me very bitter towards them. I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I can't help it and don't know what to do. I feel like a fraud because I live with them but don't respect them or their views. Please help.

Also read: We go out, but he won't commit!

It's okay to feel the way you do towards them because you can't invalidate your views or feelings. However, you should ask yourself if it's fair to not have a conversation about how you feel with them. Why assume they can't change?

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