Hard to work in the same office as ex!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My ex-boyfriend and I work at the same organisation and it's very hard for me because he began dating someone a few months after we broke up. His girlfriend comes to see him after work very often and he is always loving and kind towards her. For some reason, this makes me feel as if he was nasty to me alone. I know this is unreasonable because we had good times, too, but I wish I didn't have to see him every day. His girlfriend never looks at me and I am sure she knows about me because he must have told her about us at some point. He and I are civil towards each other, but don't speak at all unless it is for work. We don't stay in touch outside work either because we are not on each other's social networks anymore. I want to quit this office just to put him behind me, but I can't because I am due for a promotion. If I quit, I will only hurt my career. How do I cope with this difficult situation?
You appear to be very self-aware of where things stand and why you feel the way you do. What you need to accept is that you are still going through a process of grief that accompanies the end of any relationship. Your ex may be in a different place, and his relationships with other people have no bearing on what the two of you had. It is important to contextualise your feelings, remember why it didn't work out between you, and allow yourself to feel this pain or anger because it is an inevitable part of the grieving process. There will come a time when these feelings will disappear but, until then, put your interests first and keep your eye on the big picture, which is your professional development. Separating the two is undeniably difficult, but you shouldn't let your personal past have an adverse effect on your present or future goals as a professional.

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