Happy with my decision, but...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 29-year old woman and am engaged to a man three years older. We knew each other in college and were acquaintances, but didn't get into a relationship because he was in a senior year. Two years ago, he reached out on Facebook and we began chatting, after which things just progressed until he asked me to consider a relationship. We dated for six months and he then asked me to marry him. I was overwhelmed with the proposal and agreed, and I think I am happy with my decision, but there is a small part of me that feels as if this was just too easy. It feels as if I have just let myself go with the flow, instead of making decisions based on what my real interests or wants are. I don't know if this is because I am just complacent by nature, but I sometimes wonder if I should have been more aggressive and gone after someone instead of letting myself be wooed by the first person who expressed interest in me. How do I know if I have made the right decision?
It feels as if you are overthinking this, and basing your fears on what you think you should have done as opposed to what you have done. Everyone has a different approach to or idea of how they want to live their lives. What you call complacency may, for someone else, seem like a woman who knows what her priorities are and is comfortable in her skin. All that should matter is how you feel about this person, and whether you see yourself spending the rest of your life with him. Everything else is conjecture about how your life could have been different. No one can comment on whether a decision is right or wrong because we can't see into the future. All we can hope to do is make decisions based on how we feel, and then accept them because to constantly second-guess oneself only leads to dissatisfaction.

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