Considering an affair with friend

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a married woman and have been considering an affair with a friend for some months now. My husband and I have been together for 11 years, but he has never shown more than a mild interest in me or my happiness, which is why I have been thinking about this. We have no children and are not close to any of our relatives, so our lives are very quiet and uneventful. We sit at home watching television on most evenings, and I have never worked at an office because we are quite well off and my husband earns a high salary. It sometimes feels as if I will do this for the rest of my life, which depresses me because it's as if everyone else is living and I am just pretending to live. I can't do this forever and even though I know an affair is morally wrong, I want to feel something other than what I am feeling in this marriage. What should I do?
You're probably struggling with depression and have valid reasons for feeling the way you do. Trapped in an unexciting marriage is difficult, and although the idea of an affair may seem like a way out, it doesn't do anything to address the actual problem. If you don't step out of your comfort zone, the chances of anything happen automatically diminish. You haven't said anything about how your husband feels or if the two of you have bothered to address this obvious lack of interest in each other. I suggest you start by having that conversation. Ask him why he wants to be in this relationship, what his hopes and expectations are, and tell him how you feel. Talk about doing something other than pretending to be a housewife, because you have to break away from this situation. Also, don't be afraid to speak to a professional, on your own or as a couple, because you owe it to yourselves to try and find happiness. Adultery is never a solution.

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