Are we going too fast with this?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My relationship is moving faster than I am comfortable with and I don't know if I should ask my boyfriend to slow down because I need space. The truth is, I am perfectly happy with the way things are, but I am only nervous because if things are going well, it may be inevitable that something bad happens. I don't want to get too deep into this relationship and have my feelings hurt, which is the only reason I want to change the pace at which we are moving forward. He thinks there is nothing wrong, and constantly reassures me that we are in a good place, but I can't shake my feeling of trepidation that everything will come crashing down if we don't take it one step at a time. Am I being unnecessarily cautious or just pessimistic in general?

It's okay to be pessimistic, and there is nothing wrong with asking for space. It is also okay to trust someone and let your relationship evolve naturally because there is no manual on how quickly either of you have to move. If things are fine, and you're happy, it means you're okay. If there are doubts and you want to slow down, that should be acceptable too. The best thing to do, under the circumstances, is draw your own boundaries and stick to them as strictly as you think you would like to. If you don't want things to get to a stage too quickly, speaking about it honestly is the best way for you both to adjust your individual expectations.

How do I get my girlfriend back into my life if she thinks I am better off without her? She is a great person but has a low opinion of herself which is the only reason our relationship ended.
Self-esteem can be crippling but can also be handled with the right coping mechanisms. Why not tell her that you're ready to wait for her, ask her to get help, and hope for things to change together?

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com