Am I wasting my time with him?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

How long should someone wait for a person to develop feelings for them? I have had a crush on a guy from my locality for two years, and he knows about this because we have been acquaintances for a long time and I have dropped a lot of hints, but he doesn't say anything or make any move. I have asked him out a few times, and he has met me for coffee on some occasions, but nothing happens, and he never asks me out on his own. My friends say I am wasting my time, but I think he just needs to get to know me better which can only happen if I take the effort of meeting him. It feels like a project, because I have to swallow my pride and ask him out as often as I can. If nothing happens within the next year, I am thinking of dropping it. Am I being impatient?
This isn't about patience as much as it is about a refusal to accept that someone isn't interested. If he knows how you feel, and consistently passes on every opportunity to ask you out, what sort of message are you looking for? Why assume he can't make up his mind and just needs to get to know you better if, as you point out, you have known each other for a long time? The decision to wait and hope that he changes his mind is yours, obviously, but you should also consider that you are putting your life on hold for a potential future that may never come about.

It has been a year-and-a-half since my husband passed away, and my friends want me to start dating again. Is it too soon? I am only 35, which is why they think I should be with someone.
Your age has nothing to do with whether you need to date or not. It's about whether you feel a need for companionship, and if you want to be with someone.

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