Am I just being paranoid?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

A few days ago, my boyfriend accidentally mentioned that he had been flirting with a girl at a party. He backtracked immediately, saying he didn't mean flirting, but I was suspicious, so I reached out to a friend of his who hesitantly admitted that he was with this girl all evening. I confronted my boyfriend, who said he hadn't mentioned the party to me because he didn't want me to get suspicious. I told him that not telling me about a girl he had spent an entire evening chatting with was more suspicious. He got upset and told me to end this relationship if I didn't trust him. We haven't spoken for over a week, and he hasn't even messaged on WhatsApp to ask if I'm okay. I am tempted to break up because I don't think I trust him, but a part of me wonders if this is just a huge over-reaction on my part. What if he's right and I am just being paranoid? Should I forgive him and go back?
You're entitled to feeling the way you do because trust has to be earned. He is entitled to think of you as paranoid but that doesn't solve anything because it simply avoids a real issue. He did something to trigger your suspicions and has to do what it takes to make you trust him again. Not communicating only makes this worse, and the longer you stay away from each other, the easier it will be to imagine moving on without the other. If you want to forgive him and trust him again, it has to be unconditional, which can only happen if and when he convinces you that there was nothing going on at that party. If you are willing to brush it under the carpet to save your relationship, it will inevitably crop up the next time you have an argument, or he does something that makes you doubt his fidelity. I suggest you simply ask him if he wants to make this work.

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