AITA for making him choose me?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am gay and love boys, but I am fat, so no one loves me. I want a person who can understand me. What should I do.
- Ravi P
You have to learn to accept yourself, and then learn to be less critical. This can take a lifetime, but it's important to make a start because being unkind to yourself affects your self-esteem which, in turn, affects how people look at you. There is nothing wrong with being gay or overweight. The sooner you come to terms with this, the easier it will be for you to project confidence. As for finding someone who can understand you, this will only happen when you meet more people, allow yourself to get to know them better, and find someone who accepts you as you are. Give yourself time, be patient, work on putting yourself and your interests first, and the rest will transpire. Don't give up even if it sometimes feels as if this is an insurmountable task. Also, if you get to a stage where you feel helpless, know that you can always reach out to a professional for advice or coping mechanisms that can be life-changing.

My boyfriend has to choose between me or his job because it feels as if he doesn't care about me at all. Am I being unreasonable?
This depends upon how you both see this because what may seem like a reasonable ultimatum for you may be completely unacceptable for him or his financial situation. Relationships are about balance, and compromise, and the first thing you should both do is have an honest chat about what you want from this, and whether you can both fulfil the other's expectations. If that isn't a workable solution, think of ways in which you can balance work as well as your personal lives. Ending a relationship should always be the last option.

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