Tisca Chopra on her new book What’s Up With Me?: Want to put scaffolding around their spine

Tisca Chopra

As a teen, the four Ps (puberty, periods, pimples and people) hung like an albatross around our neck. What made it tough was the stigma that came with some. Add to that, the lack of access to good information. It didn't help my 14-year-old self, who was a bundle of nerves, back then.

Actor-writer Tisca Chopra shares our sentiment, when we connect with her to discuss her new book What's Up With Me? (Red Panda, Westland). The just released title is a handy guide for young girls, offering practical suggestions for coping with the rollercoaster that growing up is, especially tackling the four Ps.

The idea came from Vidhi Bhargava, editor at Westland and Chopra's schoolmate. "Because I am quite invested in my daughter's life, as all mums are, I started looking at her, and her friends more carefully, trying to understand their level of curiosity about things, and how trusting they are about our generation," says Chopra.

Edited excerpts from the interview.

Most of the issues you discuss in the book are still considered taboo here. How did you negotiate them?
I have had some issues with this when I was growing up as well. I always talk very directly about things, and find it puzzling, when this happens with [conversations around] periods. The fact that you have your periods is great. What should be a concern is when we don't get it. Historically, in many cultures, there used to be celebrations when girls got their periods, because it was a biological necessity for survival of the species. I wonder when this narrative changed, and when we started making cloaked or veiled references to it. At home, I have taken a lead in this matter. I call a vagina, vagina, and the penis, penis. If you can talk about your hands and feet, why won't you talk about the rest of the body? I feel this is also a way of putting women on the back-foot. It angers me. [Through this book] I wanted to give girls the power to change and control their own narrative. Subtly, I wanted to put a scaffolding around their spine, and make them stand upright, and say, ‘You know what? We are the reason why the human race is procreating.' We need to instill period pride in our girls.

What kind of research did you have to do for the book?
Apart from Vidhi, I had three other wonderful women holding my hand through the process. There is Dr Mala Arora, a leading gynaecologist from Delhi, and Malvika Varma, counselling psychologist and therapist, who discussed teen angst, hormonal issues, and mood swings, among other things with me. Akanksha Angnihotri did the lovely illustrations for the book. We have tried to keep the book as inclusive as possible, not just talking about the equations between girls and boys, but between girls as well. Though I am a mother, I chose to write this book from the perspective of an informed friend.

You also have a chapter dedicated to the boys. Why?
The fact is that having your period, at some point, does involve procreation, and there is a curiosity attached to it. I wanted to satisfy this curiosity in a very matter of fact way. Like women, men are biological entities too. They have their own issues and it's not easy for them either. We need to have empathy for the other gender. I wanted to demystify this whole idea of boy-ness. I hope this book becomes a conversation starter of sorts, and that both, mothers as well as fathers become part of it. Why are fathers being kept out of period talk? It needs to be normalised, and that's the narrative I want to push for.

What: What's Up With Me?
Price: Rs 350
To buy: amazon.in