22 August,2021 04:55 AM IST | Mumbai | Jane Borges
Vidhie Mukerjea, who finished writing her memoir in 2020, says her life turned on its head when she learnt about the alleged role of her mother in the murder of her stepsister. Pic/Jane D`Souza
Devil's daughter. It's a rather unsettling title for a book - a memoir, to be precise - written by a 23-year-old young woman, grappling with the uncertainty called life. She is referring to herself, but also her parentage. And neither cast her in great light.
In a world that is increasingly becoming polarised, where you can either be black or white, good or evil, Vidhie Mukerjea appears to have unabashedly made the choice. She offers little resistance, because this decision, she says, was never really hers to make. Her "journey to hell and not quite back yet" began in 2015, on the eve of her 18th birthday. "That day, I began to be seen as the child of the devil herself by so many people," she writes in the introduction to her just released book, published by Westland.
Vidhie is the youngest child of Indrani Mukerjea, who in 2015 was arrested for allegedly murdering her daughter Sheena Bora, a crime committed three years earlier.
Bora, then 25, had allegedly been strangled in a car on April 24, 2012, after which her body was burnt and dumped in a forest in Raigad. Vidhie's biological father, Kolkata-based Sanjeev Khanna, was also arrested based on information provided by Indrani's driver, Shyamvar Rai, who turned an approver. Then, a few months later, her stepfather, media baron Peter Mukerjea - whom Vidhie describes as her "knight in shining armour" - was incarcerated. This was the time Vidhie had been sent to Regent's University London, away from the drama unfolding around what was going to be one of the most notorious criminal cases in Mumbai's recent history. "I was walking back to my room when I hit refresh [on the internet] again and saw the headlines⦠I could feel the blood rushing up through my body and into my head, and I started to feel extremely dizzy. I started shaking, but not physically - it felt like my organs were shivering⦠Papa was the only person that could get through to me⦠And now he was being taken away," she recalls of that time in her book, moments after learning of the news on her phone.
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What does it mean to be Vidhie Mukerjea? A young woman of privilege, who once had everything, and slowly nothing. A few experiences with the media, some of which she shares in the book, have made her wary about speaking. Over the last few years, she has preferred to stonewall people. The reluctance spills over to this interview, as well. Currently in Goa, she has agreed to speak with mid-day, but over email.
The day Vidhie reverts to our questions, there has been a development in the Bora murder case. The CBI, which took over the high-profile case from the Mumbai police in September 2015, told a special court that it had closed its six year-long investigation. No such closure awaits Vidhie.
She says she has written the book "three times in her head already". But, it was only last year that she got down to punching it on a laptop. "Everything in life happens at the right time. Even though I tried writing it a couple of times, I couldn't. Perhaps, I was too immature before, or I wasn't ready to go through the whole process of getting it all down. It's emotionally draining, trying to remember every day, every moment," she tells mid-day. "After graduating from university, I needed something to do. People usually get jobs and start working. For me, this just came organically as the next step. Once I started writing, I couldn't stop. I went through hell for five years, and in that period I experienced serious lows filled with anxiety and panic. I wondered how many young people my age would be facing something similar but for different reasons. So, I decided to write my story hoping others feel inspired and stronger."
There was also a part of her that wanted to examine, why she had been consistently misunderstood. "The second my mom went into prison, I saw people's perception shift. It's almost as though I was written off as a messed-up kid who would have a messed-up life," she says. "I felt like I was under a microscope by both, those who knew me and those who didn't - the media, and society at large. My behaviour was being questioned - why was I partying, travelling, not attending university, not getting a job? I was numb to what had happened. I was 18. I started doubting myself through those years⦠but, hey, I totally came out of it. I had to feel all of that to do it."
Like most books, this one too, opens with a dedication. It's to her mother, Indrani. "...I do not know her or fully understand her. I do not understand some of her decisions and actions, and hope to get some answers and clarity in the coming years," writes Vidhie.
Theirs wasn't the most easy-going relationship. Indrani by nature had been "quite controlling". As Vidhie shares - She had this image in her mind of an A-scoring all-rounder (daughter), who would eventually want to become a lawyer. Vidhie, who had moved to a boarding school in England at the age of 11, had developed a rebellious spirit, and this often led to arguments. "All parent-child relationships have their ups and downs - sometimes, we were like the best of friends and at others, we just didn't understand each other. But, I would like to think that she did act with my best interest at heart," she tells us now.
It's around this time that Bora came into their life. She was introduced to Vidhie as Indrani's sister, who lived in Guwahati, and had come to study at South Mumbai's St Xavier's College. "She was like the older sister I never had. We got along really well," recalls Vidhie.
Things began to get complicated when Bora started dating Rahul Mukerjea, Peter's son from his first marriage. While both Peter and Vidhie seemed to have warmed up to the couple, Indrani, was always on the edge and even made attempts to separate the two. Vidhie says that at one point, she warned her against meeting Bora, but the two girls had developed a bond and continued to meet secretly. The situation came to a head when Bora told Peter and Vidhie that she wasn't Indrani's sister, but daughter. Peter had once before confronted his wife about this detail, only to be rebuffed; the second time seemed to have been no different. "She told us that she would take a DNA test [convince us], and also gave us âproof' that Rahul and Sheena were doing drugs together," Vidhie writes in the book.
Bora's sudden disappearance in 2012 did take Vidhie by surprise. All she knew was that Bora had broken off with Rahul and moved away. But, what came as a bigger shock, was when she learnt that she didn't want to be in touch with anyone, including her. "When she was not a part of my life anymore, it hurt a lot. The pain is still there," Vidhie tells mid-day.
The news of her death through the police and media, came as a blow, but she says, "I literally couldn't process any of it". "â¦my mum went to prison, then my dad, and after that things just kept going south for five years non-stop. So, after it hit me one fine day, it took me another two years to process things and I still am it. All I can say is that I miss her [Bora] immensely," she says.
On several occasions in the book, Vidhie speaks about how much her mother loved her. She admits to us now that this thought that her mother had done "everything for me," did weigh her down. "When it [the crime] happened, I was young. I did feel the burden of it at times, questioning whether I was responsible, all of which ate away at my self-esteem. But as I've matured, I understand now that I am not responsible for anyone else's actions."
At least in the beginning, she remembers, feeling a lot of rage towards Indrani, and that led her to deliberately cutting off from her. She refused to respond to her letters, and when in Mumbai, she'd avoid any visits to the Byculla Women's Jail. "I wasn't really equipped to deal with that was going on with me. I did have people there for me, of course, but I wasn't really keen on talking to anyone about how I felt or what I was going through," Vidhie remembers.
Coming face-to-face with Indrani at the Bombay High Court once, she says, was an agonising experience.
She revisits that incident in her book: "My dad looked at me and said, âGo say hi to her, Vids. Go give her a hug.'
I felt this surge of anger and I went up to her and started yelling all kinds of things. Everyone around us could hear what I was saying.
âWhy are you doing this?' I shouted."
Vidhie returned home and guzzled down alcohol and a "bunch of different medicines", only to be later rushed to the hospital, after she was found frothing from the mouth. "[Today,] I have a more empathetic outlook, considering where my mother came from, and the rough life she had. I truly do appreciate the life she and my father, Peter, gave me," she says, adding, "Empathy has allowed me to learn a great deal about myself and my interactions with others. And it also made me realise that I ought to give her [my mother] a chance."
Vidhie's relationship with Peter, on the other hand, has been rock solid, with her continuing to vouch for his innocence. "I speak about it in my book: âThe blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb'. I owe everything to that man. I can speak to him about absolutely anything. He is my idol and role model in every aspect. His strength and character has kept me together mentally and emotionally. And that's the case for my entire family. He kept us together," she shares with us.
Peter and Indrani parted ways in 2019, after Indrani announced her decision to file for divorce.
While the book is as much about the turn her life took back in 2015, it's also about her attempt to make peace with her reality. "I had to essentially parent myself at 18, I didn't have a choice," she says.
Unable to cope with the string of bad news, she dropped out of Regent's and returned to Mumbai in June 2017. Some friends stayed, others had abandoned her, but many new friends came along. This, and her father's letters, gave her the courage to start again. Backpacking trips and several odd jobs later, Vidhie was finally able to get back to studying.
In March 2019, amidst her parents' divorce proceedings, she learnt through her aunt Shangon Das Gupta (Peter's sister), that her father had suffered a mild heart attack. A few days later, she was told that Peter was to have an open heart surgery. She remembers being livid with Indrani "for putting him in this situation" and the "unforgiving media". An article that she stumbled upon indicated that "papa was getting special treatment at a private hospital as he was an influential man". "I could probably write a whole separate book on this question," she tells us, when we ask her about it. "I was devastated and so confused, as to how nasty people could be. I was so shaken that I was pretty much close to giving up. He was my one pillar and source of strength. To think of him not being there, especially in that manner, it turned me upside down," Vidhie adds.
Though Peter was granted bail by the Bombay High Court in 2020, Vidhie hasn't still been able to spend quality time with him. "As the trial is still going on, we all have to maintain our distance. I haven't been able to be with him sadly, but I have heard that he is trying to heal and stay in happy spirits like his usual self," she says.
During the last five years, her aunt Shangon and stepbrother Rabin have stepped up as her guardians in London and Mumbai. "Bua really stood by me through it all, even when I was a little brat with her. I really didn't make it easy for her. Each of us were going through so much, but back then I didn't give a moment's thought to how much she was dealing with. Only as I got older and found comfort in solitude did I begin having these moments of deep introspection into what others were feeling," she says.
Vidhie, however, refuses to discuss "the inner workings" of her relationship with brothers Rahul and Rabin. "[We have all] gone through so much and we are all trying to heal⦠What I can say is that we are all definitely there for each other in a very special way."
While the memory of the troubled 17-year-old self will always remain with her, Vidhie believes that her life is slowly looking up. "You know, over the past year, everything seems to have got better. At 23, being a debut author is quite a special feeling. Things are honestly great. I thank all those who have been so kind to me⦠I'm sure my father would love to hear that I am now an eternal optimist like he is."
2012
Year police found decomposed body in Pen, Raigad; three years later said to be Sheena's
