On a life well lived

Sabira Merchant collaborated with journalist Mitali Parekh on the book. Pic/Bipin Kokate

The speech, diction and etiquette manual which I have taught for the last 30-35 years is interesting, but I don't think it is as interesting as the story of my life," Sabira Merchant tells us over a video call from her Malabar Hill home. Her new book A Full Life (Jaico Publishing House), developed with journalist Mitali Parekh, was originally meant to be a self-help handbook for those keen to polish their diction and etiquette, but Merchant realised that accounts of her experiences at a finishing school in Switzerland and as a teen bride, as an actress directed by Alyque and Pearl Padamsee and as Bombay's Quiz Queen with the show What's the Good Word which ran for 15 years on Doordarshan, along with those of her enduring friendships and ties with family would make for a more arresting read. As Merchant shared her life's story and the joys and frustrations that were part of it with Parekh, there developed a close camaraderie between the two. "It was a great togetherness that we enjoyed and I will never forget this time together," Merchant shares.

For Parekh, the pictures and newspaper clippings she came across while writing proved to be treasures. Among these were those, she recalls, of a young Javed Jaffrey and Salman Khan at Studio 29, the discotheque that she founded in the late '70s. Moreover, the association led her to realise that Merchant had been a touchstone for Bombay. "What you associate Mrs Merchant with tells you which part of the city you're from or how old you are. So, if you remember her from What's the Good Word, you were probably a young school-going child in the '70s when there was black and white TV and that was the only English programme. If you know her as a thespian, then you're probably from South Bombay. And everyone after the '90s remembers her work with the Miss Indias."

Sabira Merchant debuted on stage in Partap Sharma's The Word playing a schoolgirl although she was 21 and a mother of three at that time

But among the many hats she has worn through her life, acting continues to be the one closest to her heart. "I feel so energised when I think about the moments that I had on stage, especially in A Streetcar Named Desire," she says. Playing Blanche DuBois in the Tennessee Williams play proved a turning point in Merchant's life, the play running for 50 shows around India and winning her the All-India Critics' Association award for Best actress in 1981. She recalls an instance when because of the Minister of Information and Broadcasting of the time eager to watch the play, the actors were asked to perform three shows in a single day. It felt impossible, Merchant says, with her character's emotional outburst, but it turned out to be one of the most remarkable moments of her life. "I learnt a lot through my acting," she says. "You get into the skin of the character and for that particular time, you are only thinking like that person, and leave yourself behind. It's a catharsis, a holiday from yourself," says the actress who has played prominent roles in productions of Tughlaq, Death of a Salesman and Eugene Ionesco's Exit the King. Blanche DuBois's parting line in the play: "I have always relied on the kindness of strangers," she says, also became a maxim that has served her all her life. It is this same kindness, Parekh says, that her etiquette training is grounded in. "These are ways of making a person feel at home at a party. Our generation has these rough edges," she points out, explaining how the training imparts ways of smoothening those out.

The book through Merchant's memories offers a picture of a Bombay which was an "easy and friendly world", with days planned with friends comprising pot lucks, watching English films at the Cambatas' preview theatre above Eros Cinema, drinks in the evening, and going to Chinese restaurants like Frederick's or Nanking's. "Prohibition was in play, so alcohol was not allowed. Nanking's would give us beer in tea kettles and we would pour it out in tea cups. Those drinks were so much better than the drinks we have today because forbidden fruit always tastes sweeter," she says pointing out that she still refers to the city as ‘Bombay'. "I just can't make myself call it Mumbai."

Merchant, who was the host of a popular game show, appeared as a contestant on a special episode of another show with now producer Ronnie Screwvala and actor Jayant Kriplani. Pics Courtesy/Jaico Publishing House

One also gets a sense in the book of a drive, a restless curiosity and passion to break new ground that has dominated Merchant's life. It's "a focused journey of self-actualisation," Parekh agrees, something that Merchant herself attributes to her self-discipline. "I am 80 now and I still teach, I meet people regularly, I go out and involve myself in things, and do plays. It's my inner self that pushes me to try new things, and to habituate myself to certain disciplines, like doing my exercises every day all through the lockdown on WhatsApp video or Zoom, and going down to the gym to walk on the treadmill. Discipline is the crux of life, a lot of things emanate from it."