Mid-day 44th anniversary special: ‘Why is the sink in the drawing room!’

Dhruv Aditya Dave first came to Mumbai in 2013, but returned to Delhi after feeling a bit let-down and disillusioned. He came back earlier this year, and is now determined to hustle his way up. Pic/Shadab Khan

This is Dhruv Aditya Dave's second innings in Mumbai. The first time the fashion stylist came here was over a decade ago, fresh out of college, wide-eyed with child-like excitement and dreams of conquering the Bollywood industry. "B''ls, none of that happened!" he says over a phone call. Dave tried, but felt a bit disillusioned - it was too expensive for a young person in his 20s who was trying to find his footing. He returned to the South Delhi neighbourhood of Hauz Khas, where he grew up, assuring himself that he would someday come back to the city of "tiny apartments and steep rents".

Dave who has styled everyone from Rajkumar Rao and his wife Patralekhaa to Huma Qureshi, Rasika Dugal and Wamiqa Gabbi, has for many years now been shuttling between the two cities for work. "I'd come for an assignment or shoot to Mumbai, complete it and take the next flight back," he says. Certain personal commitments made it impossible for him to sever ties with Delhi, he shares.

Earlier this year, 33-year-old Dave, finally took the plunge and moved bag and baggage to Mumbai. His relationship with his home city has always been tenuous. "In Delhi, I felt like I was in a very aggressive place. As someone from the queer community, the city made me feel different, more because I couldn't adhere to the set standards of toxic masculinity. I could feel the difference, and it's not something you can ignore," he says, adding, "Mumbai is culturally different, a lot less aggressive, more accepting, and for some reason, you always find your tribe here. "

There are things about Mumbai that he still doesn't understand - "like why I am paying R90,000 rent for a 2BHK, when I could get the same space, even bigger, for '30,000 in Delhi". "Also, why exactly is the sink in the drawing room, and not inside the bathroom? And why is another window facing my own. I don't understand the architecture in some of these buildings." And then, the most important question of all: "Why is Mumbai so freaking expensive? Bambai main toh saas lene ke liye bhi paise lagte hain." Dave has found a way to negotiate around this. "I hustle... I don't say no to any kind of work that comes my way, because if I don't take it up, somebody else will. It's a rat race and you have to run it." That he is a bit of a recluse, means he isn't throwing away his money on lavishes that can burn a hole in the pocket. "I don't go out and get drunk or wasted on Saturday nights, or go for these after-parties... I stay at home and watch my trashy reality shows. That's really my idea of joy," he tells us.

Moving to Mumbai has helped him work-wise. "Now, I am back in the game," he says. "You have to your presence felt here, in some capacity. The clients who I have worked with, have been with me for years, even when I was in Delhi. Now that I am here, I am meeting more people. It helps, because I am otherwise not smooth with networking. I can be very
awkward and shy."

He enjoys the ease with which people open up in Mumbai, even people from his own city. "The other day I was in Mehboob Studios [in Bandra], and I was sitting outside my actor's vanity, when somebody got into a conversation with me, which started with how they liked what I was wearing. Turns out, she was also from Delhi," he says, "We both understand the nuances of coming from that part of the world, and trying to belong here. What we have now is this fun friendship."

Dave says he vibes with both cities very differently. "Culturally, I like the energy and food more here [in Mumbai]... and don't get me wrong, Delhi's food is great, and nobody makes chole bhature like they do. But, the Malvani and Konkan cuisine, you simply don't get that in Delhi. Seafood is fresher in Mumbai, and the food here has its own flavour."

What he feels Mumbai can't match up to, is Delhi's hospitality. And he understands why. "Mumbai as a city is energy draining. It's draining to run your own home, and it's draining to earn a living. You have to work you a'' off to simply keep afloat. Sometimes, it can make you feel like you're simply existing," he shares, "But somehow weirdly, people in Mumbai have found a way to thrive. They value the smaller moments much more, like being able to go and meet a friend at their home or just walk on the beach. It's so amazing to be able to enjoy life minus all the extravagance."

Mumbai meri jaan?

Love about Mumbai I love the food here. Jai Hind Lunch Home, specifically, all day for the rest of my life. I am a creature of habit, and I know what I exactly want;
so every time I am at Jai Hind, I order their palak khichdi, tandoori prawns and bombil fry.

Hate about Mumbai How expensive it is, and the landlords, except my own of course.

Expectations from Mumbai I think Mumbai is losing its kindness. We have become so work-driven that we don't tend to value human emotions. I wish the city gets it back, because of a lot of people do come here, to get that kind of acceptance.

Did Mumbai live up to it? I haven't ever sat and evaluated that yet, because I have just moved again. I think I will only do that, when my time in Mumbai comes to an end.

Will it remain forever home? I hope not. I don't want it to be. House-hunting is a struggle here. I want to be in a better place, living in a larger place, and being able to afford a better lifestyle for myself.