19 May,2018 04:00 PM IST | Mumbai | Benita Fernando
Over a phone call from Kolkata, Vikram Rajan', an audio engineer and guitarist formerly based out of Mumbai, wants us to listen to a track that he has composed. It's available on Soundcloud and, as we stream it, we more or less agree that its flavour of electronica-jazz could accompany a languorous Sunday evening. "For a long time, I had been unable to come up with something good. And, then, I composed this around March while I was microdosing and sometimes, megadosing on acid," says Rajan.
The 33-year-old is referring to a way-of-life that's effectively snapping the ties between drug abuse and the creative arts. This is a lifestyle experiment that some of the brightest techies in Silicon Valley are engaging in, and has got psychiatrists and anti-drug crusaders distraught. "From a 100 mics paper, I take about 20 mics, twice a week, giving the doses a 2-3 days gap. The effects of acid last for about six hours for me," says Rajan, who started experimenting with drugs as a teenager.
After a litany of prescriptions failed to control her mood swings and depression, Ayelet Waldman found relief in LSD. The former federal public defender authored A Really Good Day: How Microdosing Made a Mega Difference in My Mood, My Marriage, and My Life, in 2016. She wrote: "(It) made room in my mind not necessarily for joy, but for insight. It allowed me a little space to consider how to act in accordance with my values, not just react to external stimuli. This, not the razzle-dazzle of pleasure, was its gift." Pic/Getty Images
In need of a quick glossary before we proceed? Acid is officially called Lysergic Acid Diethylamide (LSD), a psychedelic drug banned in India, the possession of which can lead to imprisonment from one to 20 years under the Narcotic Drugs and Psychotropic Substances Act. LSD is often illegally sold in the form of stamps, with the hallucinogen embedded on blotter paper. Mics is micrograms, that's one-millionth of a gram. A microdose is when you have about one-tenth of a recreational 'party' dose, which starts at about 200 mics.
"With microdosing, you are not tripping - this is not a trip. The euphoria isn't there. It's not about feeling good, it's about calmness," continues Rajan. Microdosing first hit headlines after Steve Jobs' passed away in 2011, when a number of inspiring tales on how LSD became the new go-to substance for enhanced performance by tech employees hit the net. Espresso became passé. 'Flow states' were the new yoga. While Jobs did more than just microdose (he was known to have gone all the way), Silicon Valley techies are reportedly doing acid in quantities such that their effects are 'sub-perceptual', where you won't "see stuff" but you harness its "positive" effects.
A dropper with CBD cannabis oil, used for medicinal purposes. Initial research in the area has shown that patients can reap the benefits without its full-blown 'high' effects
Paul Austin, founder of The Third Wave, where you will find a manifesto on microdosing, defines it as, "the act of integrating sub-perceptual doses of psychedelics, such as LSD or Psilocybin Mushrooms, into your weekly routine for higher levels of creativity, more energy, increased focus, and improved relational skills." The Third Wave, according to Austin, follows the first two waves, in which psychedelics were used indigenously for thousands of years, and then, in the 60s and 70s, when they were a part of American counterculture. Austin writes that The Third Wave is upon us, "brought about by recent developments in cannabis legalisation and psychedelic research - and it will change the way mainstream culture perceives psychedelic use."
Classically acid, now weed
For Rajan, however, it wasn't sub-perceptual Silicon Valley that got him to ration his 100 mics stamps, each of which costs about R2,000. It was simply a matter of demand and supply. Mumbai had better stuff than Kolkata, and more availability. Microdosing has classically been associated with LSD, but now has been extended to cannabis as well. Austin's website has guided instructions for microdosing on nine drugs, including cannabis and ayahuasca. Mumbai-based communications officer Varna Kumar', 25, smokes a mandatory post-work joint every night in order to cope with anxiety and panic attacks. "I feel I have worked enough through the day, without much time to understand what I am going through. At night, when I am by myself, I smoke a small joint to achieve REM sleep," she says. The joint, a mix of two strains, sativa and indica, help her body relax. It makes her anxiety seem defeatable, is how she describes it. Her counsellor, who also smokes up, has not advocated this as a coping mechanism. "It's different from when I am smoking up recreationally during the weekend or when I am away on a vacation. I will do three to four joints when I have nothing to take care of," she says.
Rajan doesn't buy it. He offers an example that may be best contemplated upon or contested by those who have done both LSD and cannabis. "With weed, you are either stoned, or you are not. You will need to smoke up as soon as the high wears off. When you get stoned, your mind becomes passive. But, microdosing on LSD allows you to be calm enough to multitask, allowing a lot of information to be funnelled into your brain easily. You are alert, you are awake," he says, adding, "What is LSD all about? When you start tripping, you see a shift in perspective." You need not agree with Rajan, as he himself says, "We are all chemical reactions", with each of us reacting differently to drugs.
Covert, not convenient
Microdosing will often be compared to that hard-earned and well-deserved one drink after work hours. It's nothing like that, microdosers will tell you, and so will psychiatrists and rehab therapists. For one, microdosing has none of the ease of getting a drink at your favourite pub. You will be persecuted in your search for your creative spell or a calmer mind. Next, it's not even like getting a drug prescription that your GP advises you to have for the course of a fortnight. Kumar and Rajan know it all too well. Microdosing means self-experimentation, knowing when you are crossing the threshold into recreational high dosages. Cannabis, for instance, is best microdosed through edibles, like space brownies, which are available legally in some parts of the world. It's probably the reason why microdosing is yet to take on Silicon Valley proportions in India. "Here, we don't often get to know what strain of cannabis we are using, or where it is sourced from," says Kumar. Saying "this stuff is craazzyy" is, therefore, not enough if you want to microdose. "If you are living with family, it's hard to make edibles. All this means that the convenience factor associated with a drink is not the same with this covert process," she adds.
The idea of the junkie, with matted hair and piercings, is a stereotype that microdosing is replacing. It's no longer cool to be a junkie, especially in the vegan-conscious, gluten-free, aerial yoga health lifestyle that we are seeing around us. Microdosing may be the most metrosexual among the various kinds of drug use, and it carries the allure of high-performance and alleviation of mental health issues, with published studies to back these up. But doctors and psychiatrists are warning us about the glamourisation of microdosing, even as research to mainstream it for mental health is going on. Psychiatrist Dr Samir Parikh says, "Microdosing encourages the thought process that you need a drug for enhanced performance or better creativity or to calm your nerves. This will mean that students microdose before exams, athletes before a run, couples before a wedding, and the next thing you know, because someone has to attend a birthday bash. There is no end to important situations in life. We are making people believe that a student could have scored an additional five marks in an exam had she just microdosed. Can you imagine the perils of this philosophy?" he says. He backs this up with the number of risks associated with prolonged drug abuse, such as a permanent change in brain circuitry, cerebrovascular diseases, and panic attacks.
Then there are those who will argue that moderation as 'one-drink-a-day' is more addictive than the weekend drunken revelry. Is addiction, even in microdoses, still addiction, where the brain searches for rewards compulsively? Kumar disagrees. "Microdosing is the difference between dependence and addiction. For example, I am dependent on a cab to take me to the station. Can I get through my day without it? Can I walk to the station? Yes, I can. That's what microdosing is. I can get through my day without a joint, but a joint just makes it a little easier," she says.Psychiatrist Dr Yusuf Merchant, who runs a rehabilitation centre at Kalyan, says microdoses pose the risk of turning into overdoses. "With any drug, the body learns to metabolise it faster. Which means, that the quantity for a microdose will keep increasing and your hold on reality will keep getting more tangential."
Rajan himself admits to a 'bad trip'. LSD users will tell you that recreational doses are best done in settings that you feel comfortable in, to enjoy, or cope, with the hallucinations. With microdosing, you are headed into your office or your studio to function better. Rajan had once taken more than a microdose, leading him to have a panic attack, the kind where he couldn't even see his hands. The golden rule, he says, is that if you don't go on a full trip, you will never know what a microdose is.
That ailing pain
The push for microdosing is coming from a quarter where its future seems to be most secured - pain management. Mumbai-based homemaker Susheela Kamath', 48, was diagnosed with stage II breast cancer a couple of years ago, and having undergone nearly a year's worth of chemotherapy and radiation, the accompanying pain and nausea, were all too real. Her daughter provided her with high-grade hash oil. The dealer provided her with a tiny spoon, the kind that you are handed inflight to stir your coffee with. "I had to initially understand, through a lot of trial and error, by gauging my mother's mood, on what a microdose for her would be. Hash oil is very potent," says the daughter.
A little drop of it on her toast every day, helped Kamath cope with pain. "From the third day to the tenth day after chemotherapy, my mother would have about three to four spoons a day, and, on other days, just half a spoon," says the daughter. Coping with the pain meant she could do more during her day, and also have an appetite. Now, months after she has wound up chemotherapy and radiation, she has bid adieu to the prescription drugs that came along with it, and the hash oil as well, without yearning for that high. Unfortunately, unlike medical grade marijuana that is available in some countries, and still not permitted in India, the daughter did not know if the oil had cannabidiol (CBD), which gives marijuana its medical properties, or tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) which gives you the "high".
Dr Kailash Kothari, interventional spine and pain management specialist at Fortis Hospital, Mulund, says that there is not enough evidence to either prove or disprove that microdosing on cannabis can help with pain management, the way opioids, such as morphine, act on the nervous system. "Do cannabinoids work like tranquilisers or do they have long-term effect? There is not enough research as of now," he says, adding, "Getting dependent on these takes a lot of time and not something that can happen in about 15 days of use." In the meanwhile, you can enjoy a night of quiet or a better track on Soundcloud by rationing your stash. But, is it short-term solace or long-term abuse?
'All names have been changed on request to protect identity
