You’ve got ‘rizz’

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My 19-year-old neighbour Natasha aka Nats, strode through my door, generational cockiness writ large on her face.

"Rahul bruh, sup yo?"

I knew that ‘sup' was short for "wassup?" and that it didn't require an answer.

"So dude, you read that Oxford has chosen ‘rizz' as Word of the Year, over ‘Swiftie'?"

"You're telling me that the Oxford Dictionary is now dishing out prizes for words?"

"Not dishing, fam, this is serious shit… the best word for the year is picked from over 40,000 options, the tradition's been there for years."

"And the best word they've chosen for 2023 is ‘rizz'? What does ‘rizz' even mean?" (double eye roll)

"Well bruh… it's kinda taken from the centre section of ‘charisma'."

"So how's it used in a sentence?"

"'That guy has serious ‘rizz'', it means he has style… or attractiveness!"

"Jeez that's like ‘fridge' from refrigerator - how can they award abbreviations for stuff like that?"

"I think it's a super cool word, abbreviated or not, Mr Old Fashioned… wanna hear some ‘rizz' lines?" (I nodded)

"I always thought happiness started with the letter H, but my happiness starts with U", "Do you like football? My favourite is Ronaldo… but we can get Messi!",

"You're so hot I forgot my pickup line", "You got no paper, no pencil, but you're still drawing my attention!" Nats reeled off.

"Wow, those are cheesy lines."

"Rahul bruh, why are you being so close minded? Dude… be cool."

"On another note, what's ‘Swiftie'?… is that like ‘Usain Bolt is a ‘Swiftie'?" I asked ironically, "or is a ‘Swiftie' someone who loves Jonathan Swift, the author of Gullivers Travels?"

Humour was most often lost on my Gen Z spit-fire.

"No, no Swifties are fans of Taylor Swift," Nats corrected me.

"And so when Taylor Swift loses popularity, like all modern day musicians eventually do, will the word ‘Swiftie' go out of the dictionary?"

"Dude, you're really behaving like an uncle, you know! Taylor Swift is no ordinary musician, she's an all-time legend."

"But she's no Beatles, Nats! Or Bob Dylan… or Elvis Presley… she doesn't even have Adele's voice? Will ‘Swiftie' remain in Oxford after she's passe?"

‘It's so obvio' bro… of course she will! Anyway bruh gotta bounce!"

And with that, Nats turned to leave.

"Where you going, Nats, you just got here!"

"Gonna meet my ‘bae'… I wanna turn our situationship, into something more serious!"

"Whats a ‘situationship'?" I asked, perplexed. (eye roll + nostril flare)

"A situationship is a romantic relationship where there are no clear boundaries, it lacks commitment!"

‘That's an oxymoron."

"Dude don't call me a moron, got it!"

"Ufff, Natasha…. an oxymoron is a figure of speech."

"Okay okay got it!"

"Anyway this guy that you're maybe or may not be in a situationship with, what's ‘he' like?" (triple eye roll)

"Dude… he's not a ‘he'?"

"Oh I'm so sorry, Natasha… look no judgements. if you're…"

"Dude..I meant, he's not a pure ‘he', we don't believe in gender pronouns, we're non binary. Depends on the day, depends on his mood,
sometimes he's ‘she', sometimes he's ‘they', sometimes he's ‘them'."

"Jeez why must your generation complicate everything… why must everything have these nonsense caveats." I want a romantic partner but there has to be boundaries' - I'm guessing ‘situationhip' is this just the same word for what our generation calls an ‘open relationship'?"

"No no no it's exclusive but…"

"But can you not see that the presence of the word ‘situation' in the word, gives it a flippant, pick- up aspect to it, we're here in a situation so lets have a ‘thing'… but tomorrow morning, like ships that pass in the night."

"Dude why you getting so ‘emo'?"

"Emo - what's ‘emo'."

"Emotional, dude… chillax man… it's all good. Anyway, I think you got up weird today. I'll ‘vibe-check' you tomorrow…"

"Okay Nats… ciao. By the way… today, you're looking like a wow!" I said coolly.

Nats smiled.

"I'm off to embrace my inner goblin, Rahul bruh," she concluded.

Rahul daCunha is an adman, theatre director/playwright, photographer and traveller. Reach him at rahul.dacunha@mid-day.com