Yes, we have a vinegar for that

Like many fads whose origins we barely understand, the ACV hype too has its roots in that crazy country, the United States. Illustration by C Y Gopinath using Midjourney

Excuse me, my hair is falling out. Can you suggest something?"

"Tried rinsing it with apple cider vinegar? You'll get new hair, all shiny and strong."

"I have a bad gas problem. I belch and fart for hours after a meal. My wife sleeps in another room."

"Drink a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar with some water. After a meal."

"I need to lose 8 kg. I'm grossly obese."

"Apple cider vinegar. One diluted tablespoon. Before a meal."

"My daughter has acne."

"She should rinse her face with apple cider vinegar."

"My kitchen sink is really dirty."

"Wash it with apple cider vinegar."

"I have diabetes."

"Apple cider vinegar will fix it."

And a few I haven't yet heard.

"I have a flat tyre."

"Apple cider vinegar."

"My marriage is falling apart."

"Apple cider vinegar."

I'm only human, hard as that may be to believe. I succumbed to the pervasive hype about ACV, as apple cider vinegar is fondly shortened, stunned by the range and diversity of problems for which it was apparently the solution.

I bought myself a bottle last week.

It should have the mother inside, the internet had instructed me, so I looked for one with a cloudy suspension called "mother" that some brands don't filter out - and charged a hefty extra for, of course. The ‘mother', consisting mainly of bacteria, enzymes and yeasts, contains probiotics that promote gut health.

One brand, Bragg, with a bright, crowded, crimson-and-yellow label felt reassuringly familiar. For someone new to ACV, any brand looking familiar should have been a red flag but my bullshit detectors were off duty that morning. It was only the next day, gagging with nausea after my first tablespoon of the stuff, that I began to ask questions.

Like many fads whose origins we barely understand, the ACV hype too has its roots in that crazy country, the United States. The company that makes it was founded by a mountebank called Paul Bragg, a weird combination of body-builder, evangelist and businessman. He included Bible sayings on his bottles and believed only sinners fell sick.

Because of its useful acidity, apple cider vinegar has been used for millennia as a cure and household utility. Seeing its market potential, Bragg became the first to promote apple cider vinegar as a cure-all, calling it a "wellness elixir" that could help you control your appetite, lose weight, lower cholesterol, make your skin glow and your soul shine. People lapped it up, especially hippies and baby boomers.

Virtually single-handedly, Bragg Ltd converted ACV into a stand-alone health miracle.

Did ACV have something other vinegars lacked? I've been digging into this for the last three days, and - surprise! - not much. All vinegars chiefly consist of around 5-6% acetic acid, a by-product of fermenting fruits and other edibles. In addition, they contain polyphenols, a family of about 8,000 compounds that include flavonoids, flavones, isoflavones and anthocyanins. Don't get fazed - these are great for health and will vary from vinegar to vinegar, depending on their fruit or vegetable of origin.

In October 2022, a list of Bragg's lies about ACV aired on the podcast Maintenance Phase. The company was charged with making false and misleading claims. Paul Bragg, it came out, routinely exaggerated his age to convince people that ACV kept him looking young.

What does the science say? There's not a lot of it. The ‘mother', scientists found, contains five kinds of probiotics - but then, other vinegars like balsamic contain other probiotics. Since it's acidic, it kills microbes and helps your body's metabolism. So do all other vinegars.

A small loss in weight was recorded in 155 individuals in Japan who were fed 30 ml of ACV daily for two weeks. A meta-study noted a slowdown in the rate blood sugar increased in normal people after a starchy meal. For those with pre-diabetes or Type 2 diabetes, not a lot.

ACV probably help weight loss by making you nauseous and killing your appetite. Any other vinegar would have the same effect.

In brief, only a few hundred people have participated in ‘scientific' tests of ACV. A 2020 study in the European Journal of Nutrition concluded that, alt-hough there's no harm in ingesting ACV, the evidence for the health effects of AV is insufficient."

Does anyone in India even care about apple cider vinegar? Priyanka Chopra and Dipika Padukone, for two. Malaika Arora and Rashmi Mandanna, for three and four. From Hollywood? Jennifer Anniston, Kourtney Kardashian. It's a long list.

I can see I've had no effect on you. Science clearly won't change your mind. Since you're probably going to become an ACV evangelist, let me propose a simple, scientific test that you can easily do in your own house.

Take a tablespoon of ACV, with honey and warm water every day for months and months. Watch as nothing happens to your weight. Watch as precious little happens to anything else.

Most importantly - watch as the acetic acid in ACV gradually corrodes the enamel on your teeth and they fall off one by one.

Smile! You're on candid camera!

You can reach C Y Gopinath at cygopi@gmail.com
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The views expressed in this column are the individual's and don't represent those of the paper.