Vote for Lobo Lobo

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Lobo Lobo came over dressed in kurta-pyjama, and khadi waistcoat.

"Namasteji," Lobo Lobo said, with a dazzling smile through his Ray-Ban shades.

"Lobo Lobo, can you inform me …. uhm why… uhm?"

"Dikunamenji, don't give dat, ‘zapped' look, but to tell de trut, I am entering politics!"

"But my friend, just in case you hadn't noticed, there are no elections in Mumbai!"

"Arre boss, who's talking about our city men, I am standing as an independent candidate from my home state Goa… you know, men, dat dere is to be de Legislative elections in de state next weekend na?"

I nodded my head sagely.

"Everyone is going around like one merry go round… Just take Ms Mamata…Didi to everyone… Madam to me… she's trying to add some glamour to Goa elections, so she has roped in dat tennis player…wassshissname, ah Leander Paes… wot a mad idea… he has a good service game, but 'ow he'll service de peepul, I ask? De udder parties are playing politics, making a mess of tings, no one really cares for my beloved Goa, so I'm planning to stand as an independent candidate from two constituencies of de 40 seats… Quepem and Cumbarjua!"

"Why from two constituencies, Lobo Lobo?"

"Arrey men both our PM and Rahulji have stood from two-two constituencies so why not me… also to tell de trut, standing from two gives me better chances, at least, I'll win in one! Wot say, Dikunamenji?"

"Point taken, but what are these two places in Goa, never heard of them?"

"Arre you are de typical Mumbai tourist… only going for holidays, drinking beers and prawns in dose beech shacks in Baga and dat whachyioucall Morjim."

"Okay, moving on from your barbs, what are these places, Quebec and Kumnbaya?"

"Arre Dikunmenji…. Quepem is a place in South Goa and Cumbarjua is in de north of Goa."

"And why these two in particular… why not Calangute or Palolem?"

"It's my duty, Dikunamaenji…My mudder came from Quepem and dad from Cumbarjua."

"Oh that's so familiar and familial!"

Lobo Lobo removed his Ray-Bans.

"It's not so much of a cozy ‘kahani', see my parents had a Romeo-Juliet type, Laila Majnu ‘gotaala' initially…"

"Care to explain, Lobo Lobo?"

"So dis is pre Goa liberation time, in de '50s… my mom's family were rich land owners in South Goa! My poor fadder... he came from a fisherman family … dey could barely make ends meet! One evening, as Lady Luck would have it, my mudder came for a walk to Anjuna beach and my dad at dat same time was bringing in his fishing boat wid some fresh fresh pomfret. Arey Dikunamenji… Cupid struk men."

Dere eyes met for de fust time - den in de sunset time, my dad made a campfire, and my mudder, she has a voice like Nina Simone men, she sang dat song men, ‘You Fill Up My Senses' to my dad."

"How sweet! So it wasn't quite like the Capulets and Montagues… a sad ending?

"De Carvalhos and de Monteiros in my case… tank god no one committed suicide, but solid tension, 'ow much my mudders side tried to marry her to some udder scoundrel fellow - dad and mom had to run away and come to Bombay!"

"All's well that ends well then?"

Lobo Lobo nodded.

"So let's get back to the elections… I'm guessing you're all ready steady go... you've electioneered to your full capacity?"

"Yes men... I've even offered every home a free dish antenna… dat is even my symbol"

"And what is your election promise?"

"Arre men, I feel people should have ‘mazaa'… so dey should be allowed to dance on de beach wid beer, shacks should stay open all night… bindaas men!'

"Right, and so what's your political party called?"

"It's called the LPP."

"And what does that stand for?"

"Let's Party Party," he concluded.

Rahul daCunha is an adman, theatre director/playwright, photographer and traveller. Reach him at rahul.dacunha@mid-day.com