The things we took for granted

It has been a long time since I thought about meeting a friend for lunch or dinner, something that I used to consider so casually earlier. Representation pic

I think of restaurants more than I thought I would. This came as a surprise to me because I have little interest in food, and often think of it as a chore that needs to be dealt with so I can get on with the business of living. What I did think about a lot was how casually I considered those lunch or dinner dates with family and friends. We would put out a message on WhatsApp, fix a date and time, choose a restaurant or cuisine, and simply turn up for a good evening. That act of gathering for a meal was upended, like so much else, by a virus that showed us just how little our desires matter in the larger scheme of things.

It has been a long time since I thought about meeting a friend for lunch or dinner. There are opening hours to consider now, and vaccinations, coupled with the possibility of crowds. Where once a crowded room could inadvertently be taken as a sign that there was something good about the place, the presence of too many people around now inspires fear and anxiety. How things have changed.

So much of what we did in the days before COVID-19 now seems strange and troubling by comparison. The idea of shopping, for instance, with its attendant tasks of picking things up and placing them back on shelves without a thought. By the first lockdown, I recall using hand sanitiser after touching doorknobs and packages. I think about what it felt like to stand in line at cashier counters without worrying about the distance between those in front and behind me. I smile sadly at how many of us now react in the presence of a bystander who happens to cough. As I pick apps to scroll through groceries on my smartphone, I wonder about the millions once employed in supermarkets. What have they been doing to make up for their staggering loss of income?

Some business folk believe the office as we know it may never be the same again. I have mixed feelings about that too, because while I recall and despise the soul-crushing act of commuting to and from a workplace, I also know how much interactions with peers can mean for a lot of people. I know it must have alleviated loneliness for millions and acted as an escape route from homes that aren't as normal or comfortable as we think. Some of us may go back to conference rooms and office pantries over the coming months, but I hope we take back with us a certain appreciation for those tedious rooms too.

There's no point talking about flying, because it was an exhausting experience long before the pandemic arrived. I had assumed it couldn't possibly get worse, until I tried flying during a break between lockdowns and realised that it could.

I recently overheard a conversation between a friend and his 11-year-old child, with the girl asking her father if this was how things would be from now on. She meant a life behind masks, away from school, studying alone in front of a laptop. It was a question that broke my heart because I thought of my own childhood and how liberating it seemed by comparison. Her father reassured her that things would change soon, but I have no idea how confident he was. When you're 11, and a quarter of your life has been spent in a state of panic over which you have no control, it's natural to assume your view of the world is going to be different from everyone else's. I hope we think about the childhoods that have been stolen too. I hope it makes us nicer and more patient towards children we come into contact with, in the months and years ahead.

History teaches us that memories are short, and that we quickly forget periods of trauma in our need for comfort and regularity. A part of me hopes that doesn't happen though. I hope we learn from the past two years and look at what comes next with a mixture of gratitude and empathy. It is only when we stop taking the act of living for granted that we can appreciate everyone who comes into our orbit. It is only by giving the smallest things in our lives the importance they deserve that we can appreciate what we have more fully. It's what I intend to try and do this coming year.

When he isn't ranting about all things Mumbai, Lindsay Pereira can be almost sweet. He tweets @lindsaypereira
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