The real Pathan

Illustration/Uday Mohite

The auctioneer stepped forward, gavel in hand, he looked round the room, then said: "Welcome all you investors, team captains, coaches, advisors to the new edition of the IPL - the IMPACT PLAYER LEAGUE! As you pick, ponder, dip into your purses for various players from across the globe, and other T20 tournaments, for Impact Players, I'd like to introduce into the mix, a man, I first saw on a Bush transistor radio, back in the 1970s.

Folklore has it that he once hit a six onto the Rajabai Tower and shattered the glass of the clock.

He's a left-handed powerhouse, who can also bowl spin… and with his six-foot frame he will hit the sixes… and those green eyes, he will get you the eyeballs.

But here's the thing, for this star, you cannot look into your reserves to check how much money you have left, he has to be evaluated differently, he deserves a new budget, he can bat, he can bowl, he is
box office.

Understand, he has no discipline, in the traditional sense, he's a runaway, untamed horse, he may party before every match, but he plays as hard. He comes from another state of mind… bowlers fear him, women love him, and he seems laid-back, almost too lazy.

But he is hungry, make no mistake ladies and gentlemen. This is a man, who hails from uncertain history, he is mistrustful of the men who control cricket.

I will step out of my role as a neutral auctioneer, and suggest to two teams who should consider him seriously, both for different reasons.

Gujarat Titans, he is a an honorary citizen of your state, he's made Jamnagar his home, you must not lose this opportunity. Gary Kirsten, most cerebral of all mentors, you'll see his value, he has no footwork but as a left-hander you will appreciate that fluid bat swing, Ashish Nehra… supreme bowler, unsupreme fielder, inspirational coach, crazy man, you know all this "yo yo" nonsense is nonsense, his ungainliness matches yours. Rashid Khan bhai, he's Afghani, be fun to share a dressing room with him, na? David Miller, he hits the ball like you do, left-handed grace and power, and finally Hardik, he has the ability like you to change the course of a match in a matter of seconds, with bat or ball. He's a titan, dude, a titan, a West Indian at heart.

And Chennai Superkings, take a close look… Stephen Fleming, you guys have always backed the roll-up-your sleeves, streetfighters, right? He's like Bravo and Watson, aggressive, fearless… and he fits into your penchant for the lefties - Hayden, Hussey, Raina, Jadeja, Conway, even yourself.

And Captain Dhoni, you two are so similar in mindsets, your name could so easily have been Mahendra Singh Durani and his, Salim Dhoni! Such is his aura. In 1973, he was dropped for a test, and the fans almost boycotted the match, "No Durani, no match" the placards read. And his six hitting ability, ditto you, he is a crowd pleaser of the highest order… he hits sixes at will, often in response to spectators asking for a ‘Sixerrr'. Sounds familiar? He can be your floater - give you a flying start with Ruturaj and bat in the slog overs with you. He can bowl in the powerplay and in the death overs. A truly ‘bindaas' man, who understands adultation, absorbs rejection, boy has he been at the receiving end of ruthless officials who've played with his career, allowing him only 29 tests. Don't forget he was the first player to get the Arjuna award.

Remember everyone, he was born in a camp, on the Khyber Pass, between Kabul and Karachi, under the open skies. Deep in Durani's DNA is irreverence, the untamed, bordering on indiscipline; sometimes he may lose focus, but that means nothing frankly. He is an Impact Player of the highest order. He would be the forefather of the T20 format.

Salim Durani! Going once, going twice… gone."

Rahul daCunha is an adman, theatre director/playwright, photographer and traveller. Reach him at rahul.dacunha@mid-day.com