Selfie points are a great idea

My hope is that the enthusiasm with which 3D selfie booths will inevitably be greeted will encourage more booths at every major intersection and government building across the country. REpresentation Pic/X

I have been desperately trying to click a photograph of myself alongside the most honourable Prime Minister for a while now. I have no social media accounts, but I'm sure I can think of a few places where the photograph could go. As the two or three regular readers of this column obviously know, I have been an unashamed admirer of this erudite, intelligent, legendary human being for years, so a photograph with him would undoubtedly occupy pride of place in my humble apartment. Meeting him in real life doesn't seem possible at the moment, so I realize my pressing questions about his favourite fruit, or his mastery of Entire Political Science, will have to wait. Until then, the next best option I have is a photograph beside a cut-out: a selfie for my WhatsApp profile.

I'm told this wish may come true sooner than I hoped, thanks to the government's fabulous decision to put up permanent 3D selfie booths featuring the most honourable Prime Minister's image at railway stations across the country. Initial reports peg the number of booths at 50, spread through Bombay, Bhusaval, Nagpur, Pune and Solapur. My hope is that the enthusiasm with which they will inevitably be greeted will encourage more booths at every major intersection and government building across the country. I foresee crowds thronging these railway stations for the selfies alone, and believe the stations may soon become more popular than the cities in which they exist. Selfie booths are a sign that we are finally ready to be players on the global stage.

Not everyone is as excited about this as I am, which is okay because not all Indians will agree on how their taxes are to be utilised. Some want more toilets and hospitals, which is a fair demand, but one that does nothing to remind us of the most honourable Prime Minister who will decide who is to have a toilet or hospital, and when. It's what makes the selfie booths such an important part of governance.

According to an RTI reply, each temporary selfie booth costs a mere R1.25 lakh, while permanent ones cost R6.25 lakh. Each booth is supposed to have a life-size cutout of the most honourable Prime Minister and highlight the government's many achievements. I must admit that I am intrigued, given how impossible it seems to reduce our government's unending list of accomplishments and successes to a few short lines. I can only imagine they have recruited a great writer from one of the world's most famous universities in Gujarat or thereabouts.

Another development that improved my chances of a selfie came from an initiative by the Ministry of Defence. I assumed the ministry would be busy with things like the possible encroachment of Indian territory by hostile foreign powers, but I was wrong. Their decision to focus on setting up 822 selfie points came as a pleasant surprise. It reassured me because I understood the message that was being sent, loud and clear. Only a country that is safe and secure can afford to spend time on manufacturing photo opportunities. That was the message, and I applauded it. It is another reason why, decades after independence in 1947, it is only now that we can all sleep soundly at night.

The ministry has suggested all kinds of locations for the selfie points, including tourist destinations, war memorials, museums, public transit stations, airports, markets, schools, and colleges. In other words, there will be few corners of India where the most honourable Prime Minister's most honourable visage will not be visible. I foresee being able to click selfies with him at every kilometre and have no doubt that millions of my fellow countrymen will react the same way. I propose a committee to track the presence of these selfie points and create an app that can help us all find them more quickly - a ‘Where's The PM?' app, possibly funded by the Ministry of Defence as part of its defence goals for 2025.

My wish is for everyone in India to see the most honourable Prime Minister wherever they go. I want tourists to spot his face on the tarmac before they land and imprinted on hot air balloons surrounding their planes as they depart. I want them to recognise this as an ancient land of art and culture, as well as a land that may be home to a billion people but just one real celebrity worthy of being treated like a god.

When he isn't ranting about all things Mumbai, Lindsay Pereira can be almost sweet. He tweets @lindsaypereira
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The views expressed in this column are the individual's and don't represent those of the paper.