See no evil, speak no evil

When it comes to this brilliant strategy of evasion, one of the most inspiring figures is our Prime Minister. I don’t say this often enough because he usually doesn’t waste time attending Parliament sessions. File Pic/PTI

Whenever I find myself at a crossroads, struggling to figure out which way to go, I turn to the men and women in Parliament for answers. They are like beacons in the darkness, sharing their erudition and intelligence with anyone who cares enough to partake of what they are offering. They are on all our television screens if and when you need them, on the Sansad TV channel, and it's always enlightening to spend some time watching them at work because one gets an overwhelming sense of confidence that everything is right with our country.

I thought about why this occurred time and again: why did I feel my anxieties and fears melt away while watching these elected representatives speak, shout, thump tables, or applaud? How did they give so many speeches without saying anything of substance at all? With time, I realised it was their demeanour and positive attitude to life that made them so appealing. I also thought, with pleasure, of the hundreds of other Indians who undoubtedly stop whatever they're doing for an hour or so daily, to watch these people and derive the same satisfaction I do. It's why I think of Sansad TV as a gift, a general entertainment channel and an aphrodisiac all rolled into one. It's impossible to move away from it without a massive boost of serotonin. We really don't give it as much credit as we should.

Members of Parliament don't acknowledge when things are going wrong, which inadvertently prompts everyone watching to assume that nothing is going wrong. It is such a genius move because of its simplicity: if they pretend something doesn't exist, it usually just goes away on its own, without the need for intervention. It's a move I intend to adopt and replicate in my personal and professional lives too, although pretending I haven't missed a deadline at the office may not work as well as I imagine it will or should.

Remember when farmers protested in 2020 and 2021, and we all thought something would change, that the government would address their concerns and resolve them? The bills they were protesting were eventually repealed, but only after months of our MPs ignoring them and focusing on other issues. Remember the wrestlers who protested this year, and went back empty-handed? It happened because our MPs chose to look the other way. Then there's Manipur, also known as The North-Eastern State That Must Not Be Named. Is there something awful happening there? Should we all know more about it? The answer is ‘no' because our ministers aren't talking about it.

When it comes to this brilliant strategy of evasion, one of the most inspiring figures is our Prime Minister. I don't say this often enough because he usually doesn't waste time attending Parliament sessions, focused as he constantly is on upcoming elections or the inauguration of renamed projects and buildings. When he does appear though, it is always to offer us all a lesson on how to cope with life. He sits in silence or says nothing important. It is something I have tried to emulate for almost a decade now, and still fail. I picture him watching television in a burning room, staring straight ahead with his remote control as if everything outside is bright and sunny. It is a gift I wish we all possessed.

This is the sort of thing that is, quite rightly, beginning to be enshrined in our manner of governance. I believe we will increasingly find ministers who don't believe in old-fashioned concepts like accountability and ignore antiquated exercises such as interviews with journalists or press conferences. It is the kind of behaviour that will bring the one thing sorely lacking in Parliament today: an air of mystery. I want every young Indian to turn on Sansad TV, watch these distinguished men and women speak for an hour, then ask themselves a few questions such as: ‘What do they really do?' ‘What did they talk about for so long?' ‘Is that really a job?' That is when I believe we will have accomplished something of meaning, and a model for the rest of the developed world to emulate.

Thanks to Sansad TV, I no longer panic when family and friends tell me about alleged communal riots, the alleged lynching of innocent civilians, or alleged sexual assaults against women. My standard response to these troubling pieces of information is now the same: No one spoke about this in Parliament, so it obviously didn't happen.

When he isn't ranting about all things Mumbai, Lindsay Pereira can be almost sweet. He tweets @lindsaypereira
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The views expressed in this column are the individual's and don't represent those of the paper.