Predictions for the months ahead

By 2026, I foresee every young man in a cubicle or, at the very least, on a scooter making a food delivery. Representation Pic

I checked my phone on January 1 to see if India had become a superpower yet. It probably sounds like an unimportant thing, but I feel as if the past year really pushed that message hard, informing us repeatedly that our takeover of the world was imminent. There was all that talk about more billionaires in Bombay than Beijing, how the country's GDP was now higher than most European countries, how our leaders routinely stopped wars from breaking out elsewhere, and even the announcement of a pod-taxi service in BKC - all solid signs that America's days at the top were numbered. So, it felt like the right thing to check up on.

Another thing that made me optimistic was the National Smart Cities Mission, which had officially been launched a decade ago in 2015. If, according to estimates set at the time, everything had gone according to plan, I figured there would be definitive proof that we had arrived on the world stage.

Unfortunately, the headlines on my phone that morning begged to differ. There was nothing about world supremacy, just a lot of noise about high taxes, crimes against women, and court cases being filed to figure out if some religious structures had older religious structures buried beneath them. In other words, it felt pretty much like the past 25 years have. I suppose it was my fault for expecting too much, given that the five-year Smart City programme was only ten years old. I realised I was being unduly impatient and made a note to check again in 2035 if I was lucky enough to still be around.

For what it's worth, there are some things I still believe will come to fruition this year. For a start, I am sure the BMC will finally find what they have been looking for in every corner of the city. It has been a long time since the digging began, and it sometimes feels as if every street was always like this, but I seem to remember pavements and being able to walk on them. By next December, I predict that all construction will finally be complete, traffic snarls will be a distant memory, the skies will be smog-free and residents will no longer have to leave two hours before every appointment. If this doesn't happen, I also know that the BMC won't be at fault because, if there's one thing everyone in Bombay knows, it is that the BMC is never at fault.

Here's another prediction: politicians will stop bickering in public and come together for the common good. I felt this keenly over the last month of the previous year, when elections came and went without anyone knowing who the new chief minister would be until the last minute. It was a game of musical chairs with just a couple of players, of course, but I believe ministers will soon find an easier way of deciding whose turn it will be.

Also coming up: more jobs for the youth. I know this isn't something we're allowed to talk about because it ruins India's image abroad, but we may soon have no need for PR agencies in the West. By 2026, I foresee every young man in a cubicle or, at the very least, on a scooter on his way to making a food delivery. I haven't mentioned young women because that would be hopelessly naïve, given how everyone knows India doesn't care about women.

I see how these predictions are beginning to sound like election promises, and while I admit they come from what politicians have said publicly, I want to believe that they have no reason to lie. If our most-respected leader says that corruption ended in 2014, and then repeated it in 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023, and 2024, I am going to believe that this is finally the year it will happen. I certainly won't let Americans make me question the integrity of how things function here just because they have indicted one of our biggest businessmen on conspiracies to commit securities and wire fraud.

It may sometimes feel as if there is nothing to be happy about, but I like staying positive. If the past decade has taught me anything, it is the importance of being wilfully delusional. I now know that it is only by disproving facts and believing what we are told to believe that we can rise above our sad realities. Here's to a happy new year.

When he isn't ranting about all things Mumbai, Lindsay Pereira can be almost sweet. He tweets @lindsaypereira
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The views expressed in this column are the individual's and don't represent those of the paper.