mid day editorial: All abuse victims, men or women, need support

This paper's front-page piece about a Reiki master from Dadar, who has been accused of inappropriate conduct and abuse of his male students, has touched a chord among citizens. The guru, who is a significant name in healing circles, has been called out on social media for his behaviour. The survivors have not filed a formal complaint yet, and this teacher, who has remained silent, has plenty of support. However, this edit is not about who is right or wrong.

Such cases need to be a learning lesson for society, which still has some stereotypes to smash when it concerns sexual abuse or molestation. We must understand that men, too, can be victims of abuse. There is a tendency to laugh off, ridicule or scorn male survivors of sexual abuse. Their suffering or experience is often disbelieved or diminished.

One must remember the late cricket writer Peter Roebuck - a male survivor of Roebuck's abuse had confessed that his targets were ashamed that society would make them feel emasculated if they complained.

Abuse does not always have to be about physically overpowering the victim; more often than not, it is about controlling the target. The abuser gets into their heads. Particularly in an equation where the abuser is a healer or spiritual guru, he already has the upper hand. The abuser may cut off support systems at first, then, if the survivor dares to raise a voice, pretend that it is all in their head. Finally, there may also be blackmail, threats and intimidation.

It is vital to recognise these patterns. Only then can one empathise with survivors, and furthermore, guard oneself against similar danger. Do not shame male victims; speaking up is not a mark of weakness, but great strength. Abuse does not discriminate between men and women, and neither should we.

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