How not to deal with a Bhagnari bull

If a Bhagnari bull decides it doesn’t like you, then even god may not be able to help you. Illustration by C Y Gopinath using Midjourney

The four young men had done their due diligence, as appropriate when you're planning to threaten, intimidate, extort and violently beat up someone in Mumbai. They knew that their target, a lawyer, worked in a certain building in Andheri West and had a habit of working well beyond usual office hours.

They had picked the time strategically so that most other offices on the premises would have closed or be closing. The building would be mostly empty.

They were armed for the attack, cellphones charged.

The lawyer was stocky and on the short side, and unlikely to present any serious resistance when confronted by four determined thugs. Lawyers are men of words, not action. This one would probably fold in a few minutes.

All was in readiness for a successful hit.

There was just one small hole in the young men's research - they had forgotten to read up about Bhagnari bulls.

If you stand next to a Bhagnari, you might feel like a pygmy. At 2.13 metres height, this bovine towers over its human owners. It is as heavy as a hippo, weighing in at 1,500 kg and its natural home is around Sibi, the district capital of Balochistan, Pakistan.

Most people call it the Sibi Bhagnari, after the town of Bhag just south of Sibi, and the Nari river that flows through the breeding area. The jury is still out on whether the Bhagnari qualifies as the world's largest cattle breed.

It is a powerful, humourless animal. In general, it will leave you alone if you leave it alone. But if it decides it doesn't like you, then even god may not be able to help you.

The hoodlums didn't know that the lawyer was himself a Bhagnari, which is how members of Mumbai's Baloch community call themselves.

There are an estimated 300 Baloch families in Mumbai, part of a larger migration of Balochis to India during the Partition. About 150 of them settled in Kataria Colony near Shivaji Park, and the rest are scattered over the western suburbs and ghettos. Many senior Bhagnaris speak their traditional Siraiki language, in addition to Sindhi.

You've seen some of them in the movies. With their robust appetite for risk and danger, many Bhagnaris find their true vocation as stuntmen and fast-action drivers in Bollywood.

Gehani was no stuntman but his ancestors, like the famous bull, had come from Bhag. Heritage matters, you know.

The chief hoodlum had called Gehani that morning pretending to be a client with a thorny legal issue. He took an appointment for about 5 that evening. Gehani thought the voice sounded familiar but didn't give it much thought.

He was mildly surprised when four, not one, young men arrived at his office. One carried a good length of nylon rope; the leader had a gun. While one of them positioned himself outside the cabin's
entrance, two took the chairs opposite the lawyer while the main man spoke.

Also read: We must understand that rules are for our own benefit

He wanted a signed confession from Gehani that he had wilfully lost a certain case after being bribed by the other side.

The lawyer remembers thinking, It's over. This is the day I die. Fear filled him. On cue, scenes from his life flashed before his eyes: learning to box; rock-climbing on the Bhimashankar range; morning workouts as an RSS youth.

Since the accusation was not true, he told the young men that he would not sign anything.

At this, the leader moved behind Gehani and held the pistol to his head.

He's going to shoot me, the lawyer thought. Then came a fresh insight: If I'm as good as dead anyway, why hold anything back now?

With this, Gehani discovered his inner Bhagnari. He reached back and wrenched the gun from the man's hand, instantly realising it was a fake. The thought that he had been fooled by a plastic toy enraged him further, so when the other youth grabbed his hand and broke his fingers, he got to his feet with a bellow and began to give the scoundrels the bashing they had come to give him.

The dogs, whipped, fled the scene of the attempted crime, whimpering and yelping but Gehani had the leader in custody. The rest were caught soon enough.

If you're a hitman, there are several lessons you can learn from the Gehani incident to prepare yourself for your next crime.

Don't do it if you haven't done it before. Threatening and extortion is an art, and you can't improvise on the job.

Don't carry a Chinese fake gun. Also, don't carry a real gun unless you're ready to fire it. And of course, never fire a gun unless you're prepared to donate the rest of your life to a maximum security prison.

If you plan to beat up someone, for god's sake, don't make a freakin' appointment for it. Besides, most people will be on the alert from now after reading this very popular column.

Finally if your victim turns out to be a Bhagnari bull from Balochistan, run like hell in the opposite direction.

You can reach C Y Gopinath at cygopi@gmail.com
Send your feedback to mailbag@mid-day.com
The views expressed in this column are the individual's and don't represent those of the paper.