What if God was really, really small?

Representation photo. Pic/Getty Images

A physicist and a doctor were travelling in the same train one day. They were both Bengali, which means they normally had trouble telling the difference between feelings and logical statements. The doctor was reading the Bhagavad Gita so the physicist asked her if she believed in God.

"Of course I do!" she replied, somewhat offended.

"Why?" he asked her.

"Because God is all powerful. He is the creator and the destroyer. He is everything and everywhere."

"I see," said the physicist. "And you're sure God is a he?"

The doctor was definitely at a loss for words.

"How do you know God might not be an it?" he asked.

Speaking for myself, I don't believe in God. As it happens, he - or it - doesn't seem to believe much in me (or any other human being) either, so we're good there. The idea of a supreme being who for some reason would treat this speck of a planet with this speck of a rather shabby, suicidal species as the centre of the universe has always felt absurd. I do believe, though without much proof, that there is more to us than our bodies but I'm sure all will be clear the day I become a Buddha myself.

Several other things seem beyond discussion. One of them is that those who believe in God have zero doubt that he exists and that he approximately resembles a human male rather than, say, a pangolin or a cuddly panda. Goddesses exist too but more because the gods need to marry someone and have god-children - it seems they need families too, quite a lot like human beings.

Another thing was also clear - there are lots and lots of gods and depending on the country and the culture they look and act quite a lot like the people who believe in them. For instance, the Greek gods on Mount Olympus were always having parties, having illicit sex, producing divine bastards whom they could never acknowledge and so on.

The Bible says that God created man (note, not woman) in his image, but the closer you examine it, the more it looks like man created God in his image.
Indian gods look rather Indian. Goddesses wear saris and blouses while the gods wear dhoti-like garb. I've also noticed that the richer an Indian gets the more deeply he or she believes in God. Many believe that Indian gods, like many Indians, are bribable and open to deals. Certain wealthy people will promise a well-known god like the one at the Tirupathi temple a certain large amount of money, or perhaps offer to build a new wing to the temple, if only the god would ensure that he gets a certain large government contract.

Most disturbing is how much each believer believes that his or her God is the real one and that all the others are fakes. So deeply held is this conviction that a person of one religion will willingly kill or harm a person of another religion and claim that his God would be quite pleased by it. With so many religions openly attacking so many religions today, there must be a lot of happy gods up there.

My Muslim friend Ahmed and his Hindu wife were at my place once and I asked him if his children would be Hindus or Muslims. His wife replied, "Muslim, of course. They have a much better sense of community."

Ahmed thought it was also the better religion. I asked him how a person like him, who never accepted anything without asking a hundred probing, irritating questions, could have such an abiding faith in a religion he had not even chosen, but one that had been infused into his head by his parents (who hadn't chosen it either) when he was too young to know what it was. That conversation didn't last too long.

But it's true that the one thing we believe and fight for most passionately, even rabidly, and are willing to kill and demean for, is the religion we never asked for, knew we were getting or have ever questioned once we got it. I do know scholars who have made a deep study of several religions, only to conclude that they are deeply similar in their essence. But the WhatsApp Hindus and Muslims are not those scholars.

"So what are the qualities of your God?" the physicist asked the doctor.

"Well, he is everywhere but you cannot see him, he can take any shape, he is constantly changing, he can control our lives and everything around us and he determines whether we live or die. If we follow the rules, we may be allowed to live long and healthy lives," she said.

"You know," said the physicist, "that description perfectly describes the coronavirus."

Here, viewed from there. C Y Gopinath, in Bangkok, throws unique light and shadows on Mumbai, the city that raised him. You can reach him at cygopi@gmail.com
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The views expressed in this column are the individual's and don't represent those of the paper

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