Not without my mask

08 June,2020 07:00 AM IST |  Mumbai  |  Fiona Fernandez

This columnist wonders how certain Bombay species typical to the city, will possibly behave as they get on with their professions in the 'new normal', wearing that all-important mask

Some of these fisherwomen at Akurli Road, Kandivli, seen without their masks as it probably constrains their haggling with and yelling out to customers. Pic/Satej Shinde


Mr zippy-fast: The autorickshaw driver, our very own version of Speedy Gonzales; this species is sure to have a tough time mouthing gaalis, spitting paan and calling out to his friends with the mask now that the gag order has zipped up his outlet of delivery. Who knows, he might find a way out and invent his own version of the mask, jugaad-style. After all, gaadi toh chalaana hai.

Maushi Machhiwaali: Gosh! She is going to be in a fix. Who will we get to hear those decibel-defying shouts of "Machhi ka paani; side mein ho jao" at most railway platforms during morning rush hour? Or even as she has to yell out her trademark shout to customers at the neighbourhood fish market: "Bhau, ikde ye na; taaji paaplet aahe." She too, we suspect, might come up with a custom made fishnet [what else!] mask to ensure she gets her way in these post-lockdown times.

Zor se bolo, bhaajiwaala: Whatever will happen to this species in the crowded gullies of every vegetable market? Already, we've seen how he's been facing challenging times while ensuring his veggies get sold out and he is able to earn his livelihood. Will the market scene display a less noisy avatar? We'll have to wait and see.

China maal local train vendor: The future of this man/woman's existence looks in serious doubt for twin reasons. For one, it is the sheer strength of their vocal chords that manages to reach the sleepiest local commuter in the far end of the ladies dabba. How will that play out now? And secondly, all the 'China maal' that they would peddle to curious customers, will now be viewed with extreme suspicion even by the most daring aunties on the 6.04 pm Virar Fast. Mask or no mask, theirs will be a tough 2020 to negotiate.

Conductor uncle: He is another species who has a lot going on, especially now, with social distancing rules that need to be practised on board the BEST bus. His usual pleas of "Pudhe ye, jaaga khaali kara," will be muffled versions now, we think. Plus the headache for small change, and this new big one - to ensure numbers are under control within the bus. Boy, we sure wouldn't want to be in his shoes.

The Colaba Causeway/Fashion Street/Hill Road vendor: Now, this guy (and his ilk in other outposts like Linking Road, Lokhandwala, Dadar etc) used to be the baap, the envy of all vendors in Bombay. Prime location, high footfalls, the works. His throaty call-outs to customers using interesting dialogues and attractive selling chops made him nearly invincible. Not anymore. With the mask, he will probably have to adopt and adapt new ways to woo the picky, bargain-crazy Bombay shopper. Good luck to him.

mid-day's Features Editor Fiona Fernandez relishes the city's sights, sounds, smells and stones...wherever the ink and the inclination takes her. She tweets @bombayana
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