Karva Chauth, keys to the White House & Kohli

Illustration/Uday Mohite

And so yesterday was Diwali, tomorrow is Bhau Beej, Friday was Dhanteras, last week was Karwa Chauth, Navratri passed us by in October. You see, we only have some 50-odd festivals in India, another 20-odd holidays - in my humble opinion (IMHO), we have too few festivals/days of celebration/public holidays in India. Too few. And this paucity of festivals, in turn, means very few bank holidays - in fact, in the world index of vacations we are second to Germany, that holds the record, on account of them having so many saints.

So, it was with some sense of happiness, that I've noticed we now have a few new national festivals - since we are now so pro USA, we have begun to celebrate Halloween with as much elan as Holi. Even during the lockdown, people hosted Haloween parties, dressed up in weird masks, looking like potential candidates for the Bihar elections. There is some talk that we will be celebrating Thanksgiving on November 26, and this will be added to our calendar's list of annual holidays. Some of my British Indian friends have told me that they're canvassing for a Guy Fawkes Day holiday.

Speaking of the USA, don't you feel, dear reader, there was far more excitement about Biden winning the elections than there was about Bihar polls? Don't know why Indians disliked Donald Trump, the man is like most Indian politicians - a totally sore loser. In India, politicians always blame the EVM machines or claim a foreign conspiracy when they are defeated. Trump did one better; he summoned the courts and then, in an alarming and unprecedented move of immaturity, he took off with the White House keys. Biden was flummoxed by his predecessor's behaviour. However, his Veep, Mrs Kamala Harris with roots in Tamil Nadu, understanding the Indian jugaad system, summoned a locksmith and broke open the Oval office.

To their shock, they noticed that Trump had whacked the President's chair. When caught and questioned by the CIA, he quacked, "What does that Biden dude need a chair for, in any case? I'll be back in a month. Plus, this one was custom made for me, with my built-in nuke at arm's length, in case Kim acts funny."

Closer home, we head off to Oz for the toughest cricket tour ever, against the Aussies. Shri Kohli will return after one test match to help Anushka add a third member to "Virushka". For us cricket disciples, hoping to beat the Aussies in their hood, this is a disaster.

(And, oh boy, in case we lose, the trolls will blame Ms Sharma).

As usual the BCCI (Board of Curious & Cryptic Information), has little to say about this - Kohli's last-minute announcements, Rohit Sharma sudden reinstatement - the lack of transparency and withholding of information is baffling. In stark contrast, the Ministry of Information and Broadcasting, which is taking its information portfolio so seriously, it wishes to control OTT content. OTT will go from "Over The Top" to "Oh Terrible Times".

On that note, Happy Diwali, dear reader. And, happy Thanksgiving in advance.

Rahul daCunha is an adman, theatre director/playwright, photographer and traveller. Reach him at rahul.dacunha@mid-day.com

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