I am a rod

llustration/Uday Mohite

I am a rod. An iron rod. Not a gun. Not a stone. Not a sword. Not a bomb. Not a Molotov cocktail. I am a rod. A short iron rod.

I do not advocate meaningless violence. I am a peace-loving rod… unless provoked.

I am not a rod that you'll see at riots, being aimlessly brandished by rampaging mobs.

I am not a rod that's used in civilian disputes, like road rage.

I am a rod with a higher purpose.

But I am not a cowardly rod, used for terrorist weaponry. No suicide bomb equivalent. No cruel use in ISIS beheadings.

I am not a WMD, a weapon of mass destruction. To be dropped on an unsuspecting enemy in the dead of night. To massacre innocent women and children and decimate their land.

I am specific in my aim. One man, one rod.

I am a careful rod. No video or forensic evidence has ever been used against me. Because you will never see my identity.

I am also proud that no court has ever convicted my brothers and sisters. Or, me.

I am not above the law. I am the law.

I'm not scared of being caught. Or of being camera shy.

(I seek no personal attention.)

I'd prefer to let my actions do the talking.

I am a proud rod. The upholder of truth, the keeper of tradition. I am a rod that's respectful of the tricolour. I protect nationalism. I am a patriot.

I'm not an insidious rod. Not hidden in a pocket or a robe. I am in full view as I protect the highways, like our soldiers protect our borders.

I am a rod that's here to stay. Not some fly by night, get 'my 15 seconds of fame', mercenary rod.

I am a rod that has waited years and years for my place in the sun.

I am a vigilante rod.

I am a rod with an individual mind. I dislike it when I am pluralised - "So-and-so was thrashed for hours with rods and sticks." That's insulting, frankly. I mean, to put me in the same bracket as a mere stick is absurd.

One blow from me and you're done.

I am a rod that's been mis- understood.

The media brands me unfairly, they call me brutal.

They call me a part of lynch mobs.

I abide by simple principles. I am a non-violent rod.

I am often asked, who should play me in a biopic?

You see, I am a humble rod. But, Akshay Kumar would be good: he is the poster boy of social issues in Bollywood. He would fully get into the role. He would understand the good I propagate.

I have been asked to write an autobiography.

You see, mine has been an unspectacular life.

I merely do my job, fulfil my goal.

I am not a blood-stained rod, but a rose-tinted one. I give hope.

I have a simple mission statement: spare the rod, and spoil the… um… what's the word? I forget… it'll come to me.