How to...

Hi Sandhya,
I'm a 35 year-old married woman. My husband frequently travels on work. Lately, I find myself attracted to another man who is the father of my daughter's friend. He has been divorced recently, and we meet when he comes to visit his daughter at school. We have grown friendly, and have met over coffee. He seems to be sending me feelers too. I'm confused. I love my husband, and could be attracted to this man because I am lonely. What should I do?
Thanks,
Confused wife


u00a0Sandhya Mridul

Dear Confused wife,
Attraction is basic and natural. You could experience it and feel it towards anyone on several occasions in your life, with no logic whatsoever. Just because you love your husband doesn't mean you won't feel attracted to anyone else, ever. It's okay and that's what you have to understand. First, stop feeling guilty about it or turning it into a big deal (at least, in your mind) because it's this guilt that causes confusion, and that can be more dangerous than the attraction itself. You are lonely and have met an attractive man who is giving you attention, so enjoy it. But I cannot recommend an extramarital affair.

It doesn't seem like you'd be able to handle it. You sound pretty messed up already, dear. Besides, he is just out of a divorce, and men in that space want to be free. Maybe he is doing this on the rebound. Do you want to be at the receiving end of that? If not, chill and soak it in. Let him hint all he wants. You keep your chin up, and your dignity and marriage intact!

Hi Sandhya,
I have lost motivation to lose weight. Though I work 18 hours a day, and take just Sundays off (which I spend sleeping, which means I get no time to go for a walk even), I am overweight. I have become an emotional eater. When I'm happy, I eat. When I am sad, I eat. When I worry, I eat. How do I tackle this problem?
Jay

Dear Jay,
Imagine a picture of yourself a few years from now. Do you want to be discussed in corridors, laughed at on flights, have girls turn away? So, stop! Eat every two hours but eat right. I don't hear you saying you enjoy the taste of everything you eat, so put the right stuff into your tummy. Drink lots of water, since that'll help fill you up. Everyone has some time to themselves. Life is not all about work, and it shouldn't be. Start by walking half an hour every day. Make the time! Even Brad Pitt does! I know starting is tough but JUST DO IT! I'm with you. P.S. You might want to consult a qualified dietician.