Fiona Fernandez: Seeing red

It was well past Lady Flora's usual hour-long midnight stroll in and around Fort. Yet, the gentle sea breeze around Horniman Circle Gardens and the calm egged her on to walk for a bit longer. In any case, she hated the massive shroud that marred her view from where she stood. It was no fun, and she'd wait until nightfall for her walkabouts.

Of course, she also realised that Sir PM, her fellow walking companion and conscience-keeper of the city, was missing for a while now. It's the summer holidays, he must be visiting, she told herself, missing his storytelling and dry humour that would engage her for hours.

And just as she was about to head back to her pedestal, she spotted a familiar figure by the Bombay Stock Exchange building. "Pheroze… is…is that you?" she called out, in the softest voice, lest she'd wake up a sleeping stray or homeless soul resting along the pavement. There was a shuffle, and from the shadows emerged Sir PM, looking a tad worried. "What's the matter, Pheroze, and why are you here, outside the BSE, of all places? Are you planning some investment? A bit too late, if you ask me," she exclaimed, quickly adding, "and where have you been for two weeks? Navsari? Udvada? Dahanu?"

"Lady Flora; let me speak, please." Sir PM politely interrupted, appearing a bit hassled with her barrage. "I was recuperating from a fierce sunstroke that I got while picking chikoos in Dahanu. But more importantly, haven't you heard? Delhi's iconic Red Fort, aapro Lal Killa, is now going to be looked after by some very rich corporate group. Poor Shah Jahan; would he have imagined such days would dawn…" he sighed.

"It's only a matter of time before they throw their nets on us as well. I've decided to brush up with my business knowledge. Background information about these big corporate houses is very important to keep handy before we are shoved into the arena," Sir PM continued. Gradually, the glow on Lady Flora's face began to wear off. Yet, she tried to sound upbeat, "Come on, Pheroze. Let's not get pessimistic. And it's just one Red Fort. May be, the government cannot find time to look after its heritage and feels it's best to assign it to people how can pull it off."

"Lady Flora, I've been doing some reading since Dr Viegas from Dhobi Talao broke the news at daybreak. Under the 'Adopt a Heritage' scheme by the Indian government last year, nearly 100 monuments and heritage sites have been identified to be adopted, including our Kanheri Caves. Would you believe that Emperor Shah Jahan's marbled wonder, Taj Mahal is also the list!" he shared. By now droplets of perspiration began to accumulate on her newly-restored face.

"But isn't this safer and logical to hire the real experts, like the Archaeological Survey of India, and historians to oversee the upkeep of India's landmarks? This sounds serious, Pheroze. I'd better check my options too; it's bad enough that they've kept me under this horrendous shroud in the middle of an unforgiving Indian summer, of course, then there's permanent Metro III mayhem, and now this!" she exclaimed. "Who knows, in five years' time, I'll have ghastly purple lighting hurting my sinuses, and neon lit signage jutting from the lion spouts and my pedestal? All in the name of 'adoption'," she uttered.

By now, Sir PM had taken it a step further. "Id' better brush up with my legal practice too. This might become a long-draw battle of us versus them. Don't you worry, Flora. Viegas knows many cutthroat lawyers who gave quite a few headaches to their British counterparts during High Court duels back in the day. We'll be ready to ensure Bombay's icons don't meet the same fate. Ah! I can't wait to get back into the courtroom!" Sir PM was charged up, clearly.

It was close to 3 am, and Lady Flora was missing her beauty sleep. She decided to head back home, "Now, don't get all excited, Pheroze. Let's hope we don't have to see that day. Keep me posted, will you? And where is my carton of chikoos?"

mid-day's Features Editor Fiona Fernandez relishes the city's sights, sounds, smells and stones...wherever the ink and the inclination takes her. She tweets @bombayana Send your feedback to mailbag@mid-day.com

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