Wardi gras

Election time isn't just a festival of votes, but a polyester-perfect VIP protection circus, too. Sunday MiD DAY follows the fabric that defines sarkari security

Being on a safari may be a lot of fun, but being in it, an amusingly different story. The dull two-piecer of a "civil uniform," as security helmsmen label the safari suit, has long been a status symbol among netas and abhinetas, and ironically, journalists who've wielded their pens most 'fearlessly'. No, this isn't about the Seventies, when the snobs would sport it themselves, but of this day, when body-guarding stands for de-glamming, blank-facing and showing off pistol-pocketed sarkari assets, at least as far as politics go.u00a0u00a0

Spare a second glance for that strong, silent statue standing behind the animated leader on screen, and there'd be much to wonder about. Who in the world thought of making security personnel wear that? "It's been a policy since so long, the files will take forever to find," is the answer offered by the joint commissioner of police (security), PR Meena. Well then, any guesses? "Perhaps it was because of some specific qualities, like the nature of the fabric and uniformity, that it was introduced," thinks Ajay Kumar, DCP, security. Perhaps. But today, we suspect, it isn't being traded for anything trendier, because its virtues have amplified manifold envy-inducing, power-dripping, small-fry repelling and so on.u00a0u00a0u00a0

Only demigods of the raj are blessed with safari-styled arm candy that follows you everywhere, from Parliament to potty. The kind that is graded at a Z+ threat level by the Intelligence Bereau, police and Home Ministry, or those worthy of being pampered by the Special Protection Group. PM, CM, Mayawati... the chairs. The netas appear, so do their coveted nobodies. Now Godse-gunners, supermen, shoe-catchers; now unsung employees returning to frail wives and children waiting to feel protected. But heck, who cares about their innerscapes, we haven't even been able to get to the bottom of their capes!

In Goa, they did try giving the sorry safari a makeover; resident designer Wendell Rodricks was summoned for the job. "Once, the force here wore its new wardrobe with pride, but not any more. What do you expect next, a Tarun Tahiliani creation?" quips Julio Francis Ribeiro, former commissioner of Mumbai police. No, we don't. We predict the tradition of intentional invisibility to carry on, not a crease out of place. Black Cats will continue to purr at stinky political feet, movements like "safari pub crawls" will live on in the West, Prabhakarans and South Indian bureaucrats will happily follow 'suit', while ID-bearing plainclothesmen will stay at close counters to stop bloody encounters. And thus, the adventures of the safari will go on.