Thirty Two: A hands-on review

I have now spent two months being thirty-two. So, like everyone with an Internet connection and a few days of hands-on experience of something, I thought I would do a detailed review of the age for anyone who is considering turning thirty-two any time soon.

Packaging
Thirty-Two's packaging is very minimalistic, and the product arrived in a rather simple fashion, with none of the fanfare and glitziness associated with similar products like Sixteen© or Twenty-One™. In fact, as I brought it in, almost nobody noticed, which tells you how hard the product team has worked to create something that slips right into your life.

Thirty-Two comes with a slight reduction in battery life, and on a full charge, you'll get maybe 10 to 13 hours of usage (maybe more in air-conditioning)... However, it also comes with excellent Power Nap and Sleep modes, which, if used correctly in the middle of the day, can go a long way in preserving your battery life. Pic for Representation /thinkstock

First thoughts
After about eight hours of use, I had a bit of a headache, but these headaches (us tech geeks call them "birthday hangovers") are common across the product line, from Sixteen© onwards. Also this is nothing in comparison to Forty-Three, whose users swear to me that it's so bad that they noticed a piercing sprouted on their ear and a new sports car appeared in their garage when they acquired it. One of the best things about Thirty-Two is that if you've used a Thirty or a Thirty-One, you'll find navigating Thirty-Two really easy. Once I got used to the product, though, I was surprised at how the user experience hadn't changed much from the product I'd been using earlier, the Thirty-One.

Best Features
Thirty-Two has brought with it some of the greatest updates to the Life OS since Twenty-One. For example:

>> Thirty-Two comes with 200 per cent increased patience in comparison to Twenty-One. This makes it significantly easier to run Twitter, Facebook, and client meetings without popping a blood vessel. I can't begin to tell you how good the patience on this thing is. Massive, massive leap in performance.

>> Thirty-Two also has significant stability features in comparison to predecessors. With Thirty-Two, bills get paid on time, paperwork gets sorted out, and there's even a nifty little translation widget, which, if you get, helps you understand what authority figures and people at banks are saying.

>> The improved stability also has one accidental, but entirely positive, side-effect; you no longer have to care about what Sixteen and Twenty-One users think about you, because with the stability features on Thirty-Two enabled, you can afford to stay at the bar after happy hours end and Sixteen and Twenty-One users have to leave.

>> In fact the combination of the patience and stability upgrades in Thirty-Two has made it possible for me to interface with a slew of new services like Accountants, Portfolio Managers and even (when I'm willing to risk the drain on battery life) Insurance Agents, all of which sound boring, but really add up to give you increased productivity. (NOTE: These are optional extras, and you do have to pay for them)

>> The ego and self-worth on Thirty-Two is also more scratch and damage-resistant. What this means is, you can now listen to whatever music you want without fear of judgement from other people. For example, I'm listening to Boyzone and the Backstreet Boys while I write this, so the rest of you can go jump in a lake.

Battery Life
Unfortunately, Thirty-Two does come with a slight reduction in battery-life, and on a full charge, you'll get maybe 10 to 13 hours of usage (maybe more in air-conditioning). The battery drains faster in low-light conditions, and is usually drained entirely by midnight. When this happens, you need to find a place to take off your pants and sit down for a full recharge, which takes anywhere between 8 to 12 hours.

However, Thirty-Two does come with excellent Power Nap and Sleep modes, which, if used correctly in the middle of the day, can go a long way in preserving your battery life.

Conclusion
I whole-heartedly recommend Thirty-Two to anyone who is considering it, and even with a few niggling flaws, it's definitely an upgrade on previous editions, with a simplicity of use and complexity of thought that I hadn't quite noticed before. I'm quite looking forward to spending the rest of the year with this product. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to switch to Power Nap mode.

Rohan Joshi is a writer and stand-up comedian who likes reading, films and people who do not use the SMS lingo. You can also contact him on www.facebook.com/therohanjoshi