What else is going down

Close at pace with the rumours and the virus itself are crazy cures that come by the dozen. Though the advice may come for free, the cures themselves are far from being palatable. Here are a few views from a section of Mumbaikars. Try them at your own risk, reports Gajanan Khergamker

Close at pace with the rumours and the virus itself are crazy cures that come by the dozen. Though the advice may come for free, the cures themselves are far from being palatable. Here are a few views from a section of Mumbaikars. Try them at your own risk, reports Gajanan Khergamker



PRAYER WORKS
All this swine flu has begun because of our loss of faith in the almighty. People should not panic and should instead pray steadfast for divine intervention. Swine Flu bhool jao, ek patta bhi uske marzi ke khilaf hil nahin sakta. Yahan koi dava nahin hai. Sirf dua hi kaam aayegi.
Mohammed Momin, Hair dresser

WAT(ER) CURE
Jo bhi Mecca ya Madina se aata ho usse thodi Aabe Zam Zam le lena. Woh paani itna paak aur powerful hai ki uske peene se koi bhi beemari tik nahin sakti, swine flu kya cheez hai. I have kept a bottle of it with me. I never know when I may need it.
Sahil Shaikh, Stickermaker

ANDE KE FUNDE
Having a dozen raw eggs at one time is the cheapest available desi cure for swine flu. Itni julaab hogi ki poora bhukhar isse utar jayega. With the incessant diarrhoea that will follow, the fever and cold will get cured for good. I'm sure it works. It has helped me in the past too.
Mushir Ahmed, Keymaker

KOKALA-MUNAKKA MIX
It is the most powerful cure for all fevers including swine flu. Place a bit of kokala (jeera-like mix) inside a munakka (a large-sized brown raisin) and eat it 3 to 4 times a day. Koi bhi bhukar iske saamne nahin tik sakta. Main ye apne paas hi rakhta hoon. Isse behtarin ilaaj duniya mein nahin hai.
Mohammed Tahir, Painter



BATS FIRST
In Belgaum, we cooked a dead bat that had fallen onto the ground and found it extremely 'heaty'. Interestingly, overnight it cured a niggling cold and cough I had been suffering from for days. I am certain that bat meat will be 'heaty' enough to drive away swine flu from the body.
Melvin Babai, studentu00a0

TEETAR CURE
Teetar (a small Turkey-like bird) meat available during Ramzan festivities is said to be the best cure for swine flu. It has to be had in a soup concoction as it can lead to diarrhoea if had in excess. Also, it is said to boost immunity in sickly persons. I have already sourced out a seller in case I need it.
Rohan Sawant, BMS aspirant

MUSI, MUSI!
The cure lies in ingesting the smallest-sized Musi (a kind of sharkfish) sold at Rs 100 per kg that comes in various sizes and said to cure all lung-related ailments. Whether it is asthma or any flu or cold-related sickness, the cure's the same. Musi is sure to cure swine flu too.
Muzaffar Khan, Entrepreneur

PIGEON PANACEA
People don't need to panic. Anyone infected needs to eat raw pigeon meat. Pakane se uska power kam ho jaata hai. I was given pigeon meat cooked when I was sick with jaundice earlier. Within a week, I was up and about. This time, if I get swine flu, I know what to have to cure it.
Rajesh Prajapati, Jobseeker