19 December,2018 12:26 PM IST | Mumbai | Anurag Kamble
Representational picture
A dedicated matrimonial website for HIV Positive people called HetHive was launched in Mumbai on December 2018. Within just 8 days, 39 people have registered themselves on the website out of which 24 are females.
Social activist Mohammed Toha Qureshi, founder of HetHive.com said, "It all started with a phone call. During the second week of November, I received an inquiry regarding another matrimony project I am doing. After a short WhatsApp chat, we were on phone call clearing her doubts and answering her queries. A few mins into it, the girl confided in me that she was HIV positive. I froze and didn't know what to do. I quickly Googled all about HIV and how it spreads. The female helped me all along in learning more. I read how HIV positive man is getting married to negative and vice versa, living a healthy life and having negative babies. During the same research, I learnt that Malaysia has achieved zero transmission to babies during childbirth, which is very encouraging."
On December 1, the website was launched in an informal ceremony in Kamathipura. A 27-year-old professor working in a South Mumbai college narrated her ordeal, "I am at a juncture in my life that I will marry the first person I get proposal from I might be sounding desperate but that's the sad reality the society and my relatives are after my life that I get married, not knowing the reality."
Describing about the response of society she told, "In this society no one has the guts to say directly that they are HIV+ so we never get to know about these kinds of things and in case of making friends or close friends in this kind of illness there is no problem till the time they don't know the reality. I have thought of getting married but never registered myself on any matrimonial site before because privacy is of utmost importance for me as I am a professor in a very reputed college in the city. All these websites show images. I am afraid I will be fired from my job. Sometimes I think I will be single forever."
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Same is the story of a 37-year-old manager working in a reputed retail store, "Before this website, I have tried with numerous website. I had bought paid membership dedicated to HIV+ people only, but nothing worked. I am not at all hopeful now. In my village, I haven't told anyone about my HIV. All my siblings are married except me. If I decided I can get married to any girl without revealing about 'this'. But I don't want to do that, I don't want to build a relationship on a lie. I haven't told anyone except for one friend. I am worried that, whenever I will reveal about my HIV status, I will be outcasted from society. The government hospital I visit for medicines doesn't counsel properly. Even if I don't get a perfect match in through this site, at least I need people who I can talk to and tell how I feel. I am tired of living these two lives" said manager.
HetHive doesn't have profile pictures running across the screen with biodata and contact numbers. People are asked to register, profiles of heterosexual people are matched and talk on a conference call is arranged. If everything goes well, then contact numbers are exchanged. Mohammed Toha said, "It's an attempt to make life bit easier for people who are living in a lot of stress and agony."
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