Just imagine...

Picture Courtesy: Official Twitter Account/Allu Arjun

Imagine the pressure if superman had to tell people that he was sad or lonely? He wouldn-t be SUPER any more.

Most people believe that achieving success and fame is what makes them happy and the whole world is striving to achieve this, but the death of Sushant Singh Rajput is a reminder that that-s not the case. All types of theories are emerging as to why he took his own life. Most are saying he was depressed or had financial issues, however that seems far from the truth. I have worked with over 6,00,000 people in 49 countries to help people understand themselves so that they can move in the right direction and I can safely say that the majority of people who are classed as "depressed" are not and that they have underlying emotional needs that are not being met.

Is there a difference between depression and someone whose emotional needs are not being met? Yes, most depressed people end up taking no action, they become isolated and believe that it is almost impossible to get out of the situation they are in, whereas people who are getting emotionally drained continue with their lives and most people will never notice anything wrong. Such people are desperate for people to notice that something is wrong with them and help them.

So why did Sushant take his own life? It could not have been money; as he was a successful actor and up to his last days was donating money to causes; it could not have been fame, as he was still rising as a star and recognised by almost everyone in India; it wasn-t that he was not growing as a person, he had recently done a movie which was successful; and finally it wasn-t that he did not have a chance to give back to society, because he did that often. So what is it? Most people undervalue the need for connection and love and underestimate its significance and the significance of their life.

I have coached many people in Bollywood and I can tell you that it is very lonely at the top. Relationships appear to be inauthentic in many cases as it is the "star" who is loved and not the person. The social pressure to be a certain type of person and to never show weakness because it will damage the image is unimaginable. Not being able to be vulnerable is the greatest weakness of a human being, as vulnerability gives mental freedom.

Deepika Padukone courageously spoke out and in that time of vulnerability she must have helped hundreds and thousands of people to speak. Speaking out is a gift that most people do not have and it is the most crucial part of human existence.

This wonderful man had everything, but did he have anyone to open up to? It is said that his relationship with his family was not solid and that there was no sign of a strong relationship. So imagine coming home to nothing, that is painful. Having a social life and friends is not the same as having a deep connection with a person or people. Bollywood and Hollywood stars are human beings and like all human beings we crave mental freedom and that only comes from having a deep and intimate connection with others.

People assume everyone with money and fame have reached the pinnacle of life, but the truth is that you reach the pinnacle of life when you are in pursuit of emotional happiness.

I hope Sushant-s death does not go to waste and maybe it will make people realise the value of others and the need of non-judgemental people in their lives. The COVID 19 virus has caused a mental pressure outbreak which is bigger than the virus itself and the solution to this is not anti-depressants. The solution to this is to have deep connections with people and to never let people feel lonely.

There are seven billion people around the world, and yet it seems ironic that so many people are alone even though they have people around them.

The writer is a peak performance coach

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