Here's why Parents in Mumbai are seeking counseling during lockdown

Dr Manjiri Deshpande Shenoy and Dr Manasi Bhatt

In merely 15 days [of July], I have got twice the number of new patients that I had in all of June," says child psychiatrist Dr Manjiri Deshpande Shenoy. The head of the Sakinaka-based Indlas Child Guidance Clinic, says the pandemic and the long lockdown that has followed has increased behavioural issues among Mumbai's children and their dynamics with their parents, resulting in many parents reaching out to experts like her through counselling sessions or parenting webinars. So far, she has conducted 80-100 such webinars.

A common problem that most children have to grapple with is boredom. With no possibility of social interaction - with other kids - and lack of a regular daily structure, children don't know what to do next. And that's leading to multiple issues.

Dr Zirak Marker, child and adolescent psychiatrist, and advisor for Mpower, feels that those nine years or younger, have adapted better to the lockdown than pre-teens or teens. "They have accepted online schooling better, staying at home. It's also easier to engage them in different ways." Older children, however, he says, have thrown up numerous issues.

Dr Zirak Marker

"It's quite a stressful situation for them. Some were mid-way through their board exams when the lockdown was announced. Some may have signed up and paid for universities abroad and now don't know what'll happen to their dreams. In some cases parents have taken loans for their education and now there's uncertainty all over."

He says that many teens have seen a shift in their circadian cycles, with some sleeping through the day and staying awake through the night. "In some cases it's peer pressure, because everyone is doing the same thing."

In addition to an increase in screen time and addiction to gaming, he's seen an increase in substance abuse, whether smoking, alcohol or marijuana, whether because of frustration or boredom. There's also been an increase, he says, in the presence of pornography and dating sites in their daily routine.

The lockdown, he feels, has led to a host of physical health issues with many now showing signs of pre-diabetes, thanks to constant intake of junk food, staying up odd hours and lack of physical activity. Skin infections are on the rise as are body aches from poor posture and acne and dandruff from not bathing for three days at a stretch, Dr Marker says.

Both Dr Marker and Dr Deshpande Shenoy advise parents to keep to a structure through the day for work and screen time. "Parents can't be watching Netflix till 2 am either," he adds. Dr Deshpande Shenoy says children have complained to her that even if they are free, parents don't have time for them. "And so, it's important to leave aside some time of the day to talk to your child," she adds.

Dr Manasi Bhatt, homoeopath and clinical psychologist, says there's been a general rise in mental health issues. Among the many factors that bring parents and children to her are the conflicts within the house. "Parents are also stressed. They are juggling work with house chores. In addition, children are irritable. In such a situation, the responsible adults in the house need to either ensure that the child is not around when they are arguing among themselves, if the issue does not involve the child, or sit with the child and ask them to come up with a solution. The latter, especially in the case of older children. Sometimes, their solutions may surprise you."

It'll be pertinent to understand why the child is showing the behaviour s/he is. "Some children have admitted to me that they sleep through the day just to avoid nagging parents," says Dr Marker.

But there have been some silver linings in the Corona cloud. Many parents, he says, have said that they finally have been able to spend time with their children and play board games. "Sometimes, it's just about dancing stupidly for 10 minutes to stereo music, but it amounts to time that we didn't get otherwise," he adds.

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